Jungkook's POV:
Jungkook left Jimin's house, not knowing exactly where he was meaning to go. He just knew he needed to leave. To escape. Nothing was on his mind except the things that had transpired just before, and he was trying to outrun those images. Those feelings.
He didn't really pay much attention to his environment until he found himself at a bus stop. It was only then that where he needed to go sprang pretty clearly to his mind.
* * *
Jimin's POV:
Jimin couldn't believe it.
Jungkook was gone. Nowhere to be found.
The morning had come with Jimin feeling restless and irritated from the events that had occurred only hours before, and he had been more than ready to avoid and ignore Jungkook for the rest of the day. But Jungkook was beating him to the punch by having disappeared completely. That wouldn't have annoyed Jimin if it wasn't for the fact that they had events scheduled for the day! And for the rest of that week and the entire month after, to be honest! Jungkook had run away right in the middle of promotions!
As Jimin sat inside his transport van, wearing a huge jacket to block out the chill of the coming winter, he was livid! Since meeting the other man, Jimin had found that there was a lot that he could take. He could take hurtful words – whether they were meant to hurt or not. He could take teasing. He could even take the slap of rejection that he had felt so strongly last night. But he could not take unprofessionalism.
Because Jungkook's absence affected more than Jungkook himself and it affected more than Jimin. His absence affected their entire staff, the company, the MCs and hosts of the programs they were meant to attend, and most importantly...their fans.
Jimin ran his hand through his hair in frustration and jabbed his thumb down on Jungkook's name in his cell phone for what felt like the thousandth time. “Come on,” he muttered. “Pick up!” When the call remained unanswered, he threw the cell phone on the floor of the van and groaned, placing his head in his hands.
They were parked outside of the building housing Show Champion and he would eventually be called in to rehearse. His and Jungkook's manager and the rest of the staff were running around frantically, trying to get into contact with Jungkook or someone who knew where Jungkook was. Jimin had already told them what he knew – that Jungkook had left his house at around 1am and he hadn't heard from him after that.
Jimin wracked his brain, trying to figure out where the other man could have gone. He wasn't at home because Jungkook's manager had already checked there. He wasn't at Yoongi's or Namjoon's. Jimin had already called them.
'Did he hate kissing me that much?' Jimin thought, finding it hard to believe that Jungkook just left when it was obvious that the younger man was working harder than many to achieve and fulfill his dream of being a successful entertainer. He was also trying to hold onto his anger because the underlying emotion simmering just beneath the surface was much worse to focus on.
Worry.
He couldn't let himself linger on the thoughts that something may have happened to the younger man with his wide eyes and innocent smile. If an accident had occurred or the man had run into someone unsavory...well, Jimin didn't want to think about that.
His leg bounced wildly up and down when the door to his van burst open, allowing sunlight to stream in.
“We found him.”
Immediate relief washed over Jimin at the words of Jungkook's manager. And then he allowed the anger to come back since he could read from the man's facial expression that they hadn't found him in any kind of emergency.
“Where is he?” Jimin gritted out.
“I managed to reach his mother and she said he's back home. She didn't tell me much more than that. Just that he showed up there early this morning. She said they'll keep in contact but it doesn't look like he'll be coming back today.”
Jimin's eyes widened in disbelief. “Wha-?” he started. His mind whirred, not even knowing where to begin. All he could think was, 'How dare he?' This was uncalled for, unheard of, and frankly, rude. He had never in his life known anyone to just drop promotions like this. Especially not a rookie. This told him one of two things: Either Jungkook didn't care as much about being a singer as Jimin originally thought he did or he was just that arrogant to think he could get away with this without facing any consequences.
Jimin's mouth hardened into a thin line. “Tell his mother not to worry about updating us,” Jimin said, placing his shades over his eyes. “He can stay in Busan for as long as he wants. We never needed him. I never needed him.”
* * *
Despite his words, Jimin ended up asking the CEO not to retract Jungkook's contract. Something the CEO had been on the verge of doing once he learned of Jungkook's whereabouts and the fact that he had just taken off without giving warning or seeking permission. He had received the brunt of the CEO's anger that day with the CEO warning him that Jungkook was now his responsibility and if the boy wasn't back to promote within a week that they would both be prematurely dropped from the agency.
Jimin left the office, cursing himself for doing something so stupid. Why he put himself out on the limb like that, he didn't know. All he knew was the fact that he couldn't get Jungkook's perpetually dumbfounded face out of his head.
* * *
Jungkook's POV:
Jungkook was weighed down with more than the full-course Korean meal his mother had fed him upon his arrival. He was also weighed down with fear, regret, and guilt. Fear for what he had just done. He had left Seoul right in the middle of promotions. He didn't know how that would affect him, but he knew it wouldn't be good. He would probably lose everything he had worked so hard for. He felt regret for that same reason and also for the way Jimin's face had crumpled in confusion and pain when he had pushed him away. He couldn't get the image out of his mind. He also felt guilt. Crippling guilt. For his girlfriend. He had cheated on her. With a man. He felt disgusting. He was disgusting.
He laid under his blankets in bed with the sheets pulled up to his widened eyes. As he did when he was a child, he had come back to his comfort spot. A place of safety. In bed hiding beneath his covers.
He didn't allow himself to think. Or feel anymore for the time being. It was too overwhelming. He closed his eyes and forced stillness until he fell into a fitful sleep – an escape from the stresses and threats of reality.
Due to going to sleep in the daytime, he awoke in the middle of the night. When he checked the time on his digital clock and saw that it was 3am, the devil's hour, he thought back to a smirking Park Jimin and he shut his eyes tight trying to will the image away. 'Really?!' he thought. 'That's the first thought I have when I wake up?!'
He didn't like that.
He picked up his phone from his nightstand and turned it on. He immediately saw notifications that he had missed calls, texts, and messages on different messaging apps from various people but he anxiously ignored those. He couldn't bring himself to look at the trouble he had gotten himself into yet. He would face it later. Instead, he opened his mobile internet browser and went to Google.
'How do you know if you're gay?' he typed. Just for curiosity's sake.
Many articles and chat boards came up with various people discussing their situations. He read through them for about an hour.
He couldn't relate.
He had never simply found himself more drawn to men than women like many of the people on some of the discussion boards claimed. He had never really found himself that drawn to either if he was being honest with himself. He had been with his girlfriend since middle school and he had just never really found anyone else that drew his eye – male or female. But then again, his girlfriend hadn't really drawn his eye either. She had only come on his radar when she asked him out and he found that he got along with her very well as they were dating. And he enjoyed having sex with her. So he was straight. Right?
His mind flashed to the past night with Jimin. Jimin had rubbed himself against him and he had felt the other man's hardened member through the fabric of their pants. And he had liked it. He had been hard himself.
Jungkook hurriedly shook his head and quickly typed another query into Google.
'I'm straight but a man turned me on?'
He was relieved to see a lot of discussion boards with the same conundrum as the subject matter. It meant he wasn't the only one. So this was normal.
Wait. Not normal. Wait.
If there were many people who questioned their sexuality...What exactly was normal? Was it normal to be attracted to both sexes? Or at least curious about it?
'My theory is that many people only practice heterosexuality because that's what society has told them that's what they should be doing all their life. They never even open their mind to any other kind of relationship, not realizing that they may be missing out on something good.'
Jimin's words from one of their many debate sessions came back to him.
He frowned. If he thought about it, he understood Jimin's perspective. He saw the logic in a lot of Jimin's arguments. But he found it difficult to agree with his points because it required a total dismissal of rules and standards that had been ingrained in his mind since birth. Such that he wasn't sure if they were there simply because he was “conditioned by his immediate environment” as Jimin had claimed or because those “rules” were set within his very being from the day he was born regardless of his environment. How was he supposed to know? Certain beliefs and ways of his personal life had been a part of him so long that he didn't know which beliefs came solely from himself and which beliefs were simply things he was told and shown and he just...adopted.
He read through post after post of people who were confused about why they were attracted to someone of the same sex after having believed they were straight. After forty-five minutes of that, he got bored and realized it wasn't helping. He was still as confused as ever.
He exited the discussion boards. He was never one to use arm floaties to try to swim. He was more of a just-throw-me-in-the-deep-end-and-I'll-figure-it-out kind of guy. So he dove right in. To gay porn.
His eyes were wide and his butt was clenched tightly after the first minute. He winced and exited the website after three minutes. He thought about throwing his whole phone away by the five-minute mark.
'There is no way that can feel good!' he thought, completely traumatized by the image he just saw of a buff American man pounding mercilessly into another man's butt. 'How does Jimin- How does anyone go through that and actually say it feels good?!'
He shook his head, eyes still wide. Bewildered and aghast but relieved. 'I'm not gay,' he thought with certainty. 'I can't be gay. That didn't appeal to me one bit.'
Deciding to end the night on that note, he sat his phone aside and released a breath that also took some invisible weight off of his shoulders. Then he went back to sleep feeling slightly better.
Until his dream led him back to Jimin's bedroom and the soft pair of lips moving on top of his. When he woke up the next day, he had morning wood, the weight was back, and he was more confused than ever.
* * *
When his parents asked him why he came back home, he told them simply that he needed a break. They didn't push him on it. In fact, they seemed a bit relieved that he was back. They had never fully gotten on board with his dream of being a singer. His father immediately began to talk to him about a friend who was a hotelier that was always looking for young and ambitious new workers. Jungkook nodded and listened politely but didn't respond.
It was only when his girlfriend came over and they were locked in his room that he was bombarded with questions about why he was back. Apparently, his absence during the music shows he had missed had fans worried.
“Why are you back?” she demanded the moment he closed the door behind them. She sat on the edge of his bed and faced him with her legs crossed underneath herself. “People are afraid you've broken your legs or something!”
Jungkook turned back to her with a gaping mouth. “Broken my legs?” he squawked.
Seon Woo nodded firmly. “Or gotten sick! You've got people worried because Jimin has done the last couple of performances by himself. What happened? You haven't been dropped, have you? That's another rumor.”
Jungkook's stomach dropped. He scratched the back of his head. “Honestly, I don't know,” he said.
“You don't know why you're back?”
“No, I know why I'm back. I just...don't know if I've been dropped or anything like that.” Jungkook's stomach whirls with nausea at his admission as he once again realizes how big of a mistake he may have made. His mind catches up to the other statement Seon Woo made. “Jimin-” he started. “Jimin has been performing by himself?”
Seon Woo nodded. “Yes. He's covering your parts pretty well. Definitely a pro.” She couldn't help but to gush.
“Yeah, well, they were originally meant to be his parts anyway,” Jungkook muttered. He realized then that Jimin must be happy he was gone. He was finally getting to perform alone like he wanted. And he didn't have to deal with someone who argued with him all day. A heavy sadness settled on Jungkook's chest.
“So...?” Seon Woo said. “Why are you back? Are you in trouble?”
Jungkook shook his head. The guilt of letting Jimin kiss him came back to him. “I just...got overwhelmed I think,” Jungkook said vaguely. He wasn't sure if he should tell Seon Woo about a kiss and cause her pain when he was convinced that it didn't even mean anything. He was just confused. It was just a simple kiss. Barely more than a peck. “So I came back.” Jungkook finished. “Things are simple here.”
Jungkook was glad when Seon Woo didn't ask him anymore for the time being. Instead, a smile fell upon her lips and she opened her arms to him. “I'm glad to see you,” she murmured as he came forward and pulled her into an embrace.
* * *
With each passing day in Busan, Jungkook grew more and more terrified. Terrified to read through his messages or answer his calls concerning things he had left behind in Seoul. He knew avoidance wasn't helping matters but he was paralyzed by fear. He felt once he finally faced those messages and calls, things really would be over. If he continued to ignore them, everything in his world would stay frozen. At least for the time being.
He would still be employed by BigHit. He would still be Park Jimin's partner. He would still be the man he was before leaving Busan while having all of that.
He laid with Seon Woo in bed and his mind wandered back to the video he had watched a few days ago. With an unquenchable curiosity, he asked his girlfriend, “Do you know anyone who's ever tried...um...” Sudden embarrassment rushed through him but he continued on. “Anal sex?”
Seon Woo was quiet for a moment and Jungkook burned with humiliation, thinking he had freaked her out. But when she answered, her voice was calm. “Mmm...I think one of my friends talked about doing it before. She said it felt weird. Weird but okay.”
Jungkook's brow furrowed with confusion, wondering what that meant. 'Weird but okay. Weird but okay?' He wanted to ask. He moved his lips to ask...But he couldn't. Thankfully, Seon Woo was on the same wavelength without him having to say anything.
“You want to try it?” she asked.
Jungkook gulped before he nodded. Yes, he wanted to try it. He had to know.
The couple made out and undressed, thoroughly arousing each other, until Jungkook had Seon Woo flipped onto her stomach beneath him. He had to admit that it was a tantalizing sight to have someone present themselves to him in such a way. There was trust and submission in the act.
He gently placed his hands on Seon Woo's hips and lifted, prompting her to rise onto her knees. That was an even more arousing sight. Jungkook inhaled a shuddering breath.
“Are you ready?” he asked, gently stroking her back to help release her tension.
“I think so...” Seon Woo replied. She sounded uncertain.
“We don't have to do this if you don't want to,” Jungkook assured quickly.
Seon Woo shook her head. “I want to try. Go ahead.”
Taking a deep breath, Jungkook lined his hardened member up with Seon Woo's hole and pushed inside slowly. Seon Woo closed her eyes tight and gripped the sheets in her hand, all thoughts of relaxing her body and breathing deeply going out of the window. Jungkook was presented with a tightness he never felt before. It felt better and better the deeper he slipped inside but he was barely able to get past the head of his member before Seon Woo threw her hand back and pushed against his abdomen. “Okay, stop, stop, stop!” she shouted. “It hurts, it hurts!”
Jungkook pulled back quickly and scrambled all the way to the foot of the bed. “Sorry, sorry, sorry!” he rambled, watching Seon Woo carefully with wide, worried eyes.
“It's okay,” Seon Woo said. An embarrassed blush adorned her face. “Um...Maybe we can try again some other time. I'll be more prepared.”
Jungkook hurriedly moved forward and pulled her into a hug. “We don't have to,” he said again. He didn't want her to feel like she had let him down in any way. “We can forget about it. I don't know why I brought it up in the first place.”
“You sure?” Seon Woo asked, looking up at him.
Jungkook nodded firmly. “I'm sure. I was just curious that's all. It's not a big deal.”
Seon Woo leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before putting her arms around his neck and pulling him into a stronger hug. “I've missed you so much since you've been gone,” she murmured.
“I've missed you too,” Jungkook replied.
* * *
After dinner on the fifth day of Jungkook being home, he sat with his mother to play a board game. His father had gone out to drink with some of his coworkers and his brother was away at college. The silence of the house was slightly unfamiliar to Jungkook. He was used to someone making noise at all times. His mother eventually broached conversation.
“Your manager keeps calling,” she said. “Wants to know when you're going to go back.”
Jungkook glanced up at his mother. Whenever she told him about his manager calling, he wondered why. Did they need him to come back and sign something to make his departure from the company official? Or, by some stroke of luck, was he still employed by BigHit?
“Umm...Soon,” he answered. Though he avoided thinking about it, he knew he would have to go back at some point. He just still wasn't sure when he wanted that to be.
“You never told us why you came back in the first place,” his mother continued.
“I got homesick,” Jungkook responded, only telling a portion of the truth. The portion that would endear him to his mother.
“You know you're always welcome,” she said. “Is it too difficult up there? In the city?”
Jungkook shook his head. He refrained from talking, afraid his voice would crack at his mother's concern.
“Your father and I support you, you know,” she spoke again after a few moments of silence. “Even though we hoped for you to pursue a more stable career...We do support you. And you seem to have done well for yourself so far. So if something happened and you feel like giving it all up...just make sure you won't regret your decision. Okay? We want you to be happy.”
Jungkook nodded, again silent. He couldn't voice it, but he was glad to hear that. He thought his parents would resent him forever for running off and only doing what he wanted. He cleared his throat and was finally able to speak. “Do you watch me on TV?” he asked.
His mother smiled. “Of course! Your father even recorded your last program when you and that Park Jimin boy won first place again.”
Jungkook's lips quirked up at Jimin being referred to as “that Park Jimin boy”. His parents usually paid no attention to idols or kpop, preferring to stick to the singers and actors of the past, so it was no surprise that they were unfamiliar with him. He imagined the pout Jimin would wear at the knowledge that they didn't know him and the way that he would immediately increase his charm so that they would know him and never forget him from then on. His small smile disappeared at his mom's next words though.
“We just wish you two would be careful with the skinship and flirting. Junghyunie told us that it's all part of the kpop world – fanservice – but it's a little embarrassing when I go into town and have the ahjummas in the market asking me if you've lost your morals since going to the city. Don't let that Park Jimin influence you if he's not living his life in an upright way.”
Jungkook goes back to being silent. And he just nods. There's no way he can let his mother know about the kiss he shared with the “Park Jimin boy” just a few nights ago.
He finished the board game with his mother and quickly hurried away.
* * *
That night in bed, Jungkook finally checked his messages. There were tons of missed phone calls from his manager asking – practically begging – him to come back. Jungkook felt an increased weight of guilt at the strain in the man's voice. He hoped he hadn't gotten in trouble because of what Jungkook had done. He then listened to messages from Jimin's manager and other members of the staff. They all were pretty much the same – asking him to come back, asking where he was, scolding him – all with varying levels of anger, bewilderment, or worry. Jungkook felt horrible. But he couldn't help but to note that no one had said anything about him being dropped from the agency. He wondered if that was a good thing. He hoped it was.
He listened to messages from Yoongi and Namjoon next. Namjoon just asked him where he was and told them that he hoped he was okay. Yoongi, however, didn't let him off so easy.
“Kid...” the other man said with a sigh. “I don't know what you think you're doing. But you risked a lot by leaving like that. After the work we've all done on this project together, how could you just run off? You've put all of us in a bad position. Especially Jimin. You've disappointed me, Jungkook. A lot. And I'm gonna leave it at that. Because if you have any decency, you probably have realized by now that you've let yourself down even more.” And then there was silence.
Jungkook felt tears prick his eyes. He really respected Yoongi and was glad to have gained him as a friend. Had he ruined that too? He wouldn't be surprised if he had.
He sank further and further into the feelings of guilt and despair. And just to hurt himself more he read through his social media to check the fans' commentary.
'Where's Jungkook? Is he okay?'
'Jungkook not promoting all of a sudden worries me.'
'Do you think they dropped him so that Jimin could go solo again? That would be shitty if they did.'
'What happened to Jungkook? Did he injure himself? Why is the company covering it up? And why is Jimin? I thought he cared about him!'
Jungkook's heart pounded in his chest as he saw how many people jumped from one conclusion to another. And whenever he saw blame placed on Jimin, he realized just how careless he had been.
He finally went to the missed calls he had avoided. Park Jimin's.
There were about fifteen – all from the day Jungkook had left for Busan - but there were no messages left for him. Only silence.
Jungkook was sure Jimin hated him and was glad he was gone. He was just about to start considering never going back when he received a single text from the man himself.
'Get back here now. You asshole.'
Jungkook left thirty minutes later to catch a train to Seoul.
* * *
On the way back, he watched Jimin's solo performances and the interviews he had done since Jungkook's departure. In each one, the older man covered for him. Professional as ever. Jungkook wanted to sink into his seat, burdened with shame. He had a lot to make up when he got back. He just hoped he would get the chance.
On that thought, he drifted into sleep.
* * *
When Jungkook is in Jimin's presence again, he realizes that nothing has changed since his little self-imposed break. He still finds Jimin charismatic in a way that makes him feel uncomfortable. In a way that makes him feel drawn to the other man in a way that he has never felt towards another man before. In fact, he had never felt this way towards anyone before. It was a strange feeling that he didn't want to examine too closely.
He stared as Jimin went through their performance with leisurely motions. He was onstage of the Music Bank hall and Jungkook had just walked into the pit from backstage. The other man hadn't noticed him yet and he took that time to really appreciate the man's form. He had already gone through hair and makeup so he looked even more immaculate than normal. He wore a stylish red button-up that was unbuttoned to the point where viewers could see his collarbone. Black leather pants hugged his muscled legs.
It's at this point that Jungkook admits...He's more than charismatic. He's beautiful.
Jungkook, on the other hand, looked and felt like a mess. His clothes were wrinkled from traveling through the night and sleeping on the train and his face was puffy and hair a mess. It's as he was realizing his own lack of charisma that – of course – Jimin's eyes landed on him.
Jungkook wanted to run away and hurry to the stylist team but his feet were frozen under the other man's stare. Unsure what reaction he should expect, his heart raced in his chest and he bowed formally. Then realized he was stupid. That's not how he should have greeted his partner and friend. They had passed formalities...Right? Or was he back to square one?
His anxious, darting eyes zoned back in on Jimin's face to get some hint of what kind of mood he would be dealing with when he met the other man face-to-face. But Jimin had turned his attention to one of the cameramen who was talking to him, advising him about certain marks on the stage.
Jungkook took that as his cue to move backstage and start getting ready himself. He wouldn't have time to rehearse alongside Jimin before they were set to perform, but he was confident that he knew the routine well enough.
On his way back, he got scolded by both his manager, Jimin's manager, the stage manager, and someone he didn't even know. And all he could do was clasp his hands politely in front of himself and listen before bowing deeply and apologizing. He was informed that he would need to go to the company to meet with the CEO immediately following the performance and his heart thudded. It seemed he wasn't fired yet, but he very well could be in the next couple of hours.
He hoped that wouldn't be the case.
As the finishing touches of his makeup were applied, Jimin came into the dressing room.
“Can I have a few minutes alone with Jungkook?” he asked the staff that was milling around. They filed out of the room. And when they were gone, Jungkook immediately stood up and assumed the position of contriteness. He clasped his hands in front of his body and looked at the floor.
He was now dressed in an outfit that matched Jimin's except with his button-up being black and his leather pants being red. His hair was pushed away from his forehead and makeup caked his face. At least he would be handsome when Jimin killed him. Because he was pretty sure that's what was about to happen if Jimin's gaze was anything to go by. He aimed his eyes back toward the floor. “I'm sorry,” he said quickly before Jimin opened his mouth to speak.
“For what?” Jimin surprised him by asking.
“Huh? Um...The...” His mind flashed back to Jimin's hurt expression the night he left him in bed. “Leaving,” he said. “When we're still in the middle of promotions.”
Jimin was silent. Jungkook wondered what else he could say to appease the other man. To make any of what he had done right. He couldn't think of anything because he realized there was no excuse. He had nothing to say. All he could do was accept a scolding or punishment. Which he hoped would come soon. Because this silence was killing him.
He peeked up at Jimin from beneath his eyelashes and was surprised once again when he saw that the older man didn't look angry. He merely stared at him with an appraising look with his hands crossed across his chest before he spoke again.
“...Are you okay?”
Jungkook's eyes widen, his heart pounds, and his stomach plummets. Not in the way a stomach plummets when it's filled with dread over a surprise pop quiz but in the way it plummets when you're at the summit of a roller coaster ride and you drop into blissful oblivion. Jungkook knew he was in trouble. In a much different way than what he had first anticipated on his train ride here back to Seoul.
After throwing out careless words and leaving in a very unprofessional manner, why was Jimin the one that was apologizing. He was still willing to show care for Jungkook even though he had made so many mistakes?
“I'm...I'm fine,” Jungkook said, his voice barely above a whisper. “How...How are you?”
'What a dumb question,' Jungkook berated himself.
But Jimin replies with an equally dumb answer so he forgives himself. “I'm fine,” the other man says with a nod.
So that's where they are now apparently. Exchanging polite pleasantries like strangers or awkward party guests.
“I'm sorry I kissed you,” Jimin spoke again. And Jungkook found his stomach dropping at the words. Dropping in the way a stomach drops in dread this time. He didn't question the feeling. He just felt it.
“Oh...” Jungkook said. “It's okay.” He didn't want Jimin to apologize for the kiss.
He didn't question that feeling either.
“I'm sorry about leaving like that,” Jungkook rushed to say. “It was wrong of me.”
Jimin nodded.
“So how about this?” he proposed. “We start over with a clean slate. We obviously don't agree on some things. But let's keep things professional between us. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Jimin nodded again and walked forward, proffering his hand for a handshake. Jungkook took it.
A strictly professional relationship. As things should be. Of course.
So why was he so reluctant to release the other man's hand?
Jimin's lips lifted into a half-hearted, tremoring smile before he released his grip, taking the warmth of his fingers with him.
* * *
Their new compromise worked perfectly during the broadcast. They performed harmoniously and in sync. And even the meeting with the CEO hadn't gone that badly. He had just gotten a scolding which wasn't too bad. Jimin seemed to get the worst of the CEO's tongue lashing and that made Jungkook feel like literal garbage.
He spent the rest of the day doing whatever he could for Jimin. So much so that the staff that usually tended to Jimin's immediate needs found themselves having a paid day off. Jimin figured out what he was doing somewhere between Jungkook offering to rub his feet and Jungkook giving him shoulder massages on each break.
He didn't complain.
It wasn't until that night when he decided to take Namjoon's offer to join them at the club they usually frequented that he found a snag in his and Jimin's new agreement.
* * *
The bass filled the club and lights flashed in an exciting frenzy across a mass of dancing bodies as Jungkook followed Namjoon, Yoongi – he had been avoiding the man's eyes the whole night since they met up with him – Taehyung, and Jimin to their regular VIP section.
Jungkook couldn't help but to look around with wide-eyed astonishment and growing excitement, a small smile pulling at his lips. He had never really gone clubbing before so this was a new experience for him. With the music, the lights, the attractive people, and the drinks he could see the appeal though.
They sat down in the glass-encased VIP section overlooking the floor and Jungkook took in everything while everyone else began to talk around him.
As he saw people grinding against each other on the floor below, he decided this was definitely not an experience he would be relaying back to his parents on his next visit.
He settled back into the velvet sofa that snaked across the room and tuned into the conversation around him.
“I think I'm going to get drunk tonight,” Namjoon was saying. “I need to let off some steam.”
“I think we all do,” Yoongi agreed. “That's why we're all here tonight, right?”
They all raised their glasses and clinked them together. Jungkook wondered when they had all ordered and picked up an imaginary glass and brought it to the center, pretending to clink it against the rest. Jimin seemed to be the only one who noticed this and his lips twitched upward with amusement. Jungkook felt a wave of satisfaction at being able to cause Jimin to smile.
He was still amazed that the other man didn't outright hate him at this point so every positive reaction he got was a plus.
So he was even more pleased when Jimin sat his own glass of alcohol in front of him. “Do you like bourbon?” he asked, studying Jungkook from beneath his lashes. Jungkook blushed, wondering how the man exuded a sultry aura simply by existing.
“I like it okay,” Jungkook said, picking up the glass. “Thank you.”
Yoongi looked between the two with a small frown. “Jungkook,” he suddenly inserted, addressing the younger man for the first time that night.
Jungkook jerked his head to look in Yoongi's direction. He blinked lazily and his lips were pulled into a straight line. Jungkook would be lying if he said he wasn't intimidated. “Yes, hyung-nim?”
“Are you going to explain to us why you just up and left for a full five days?” Jungkook gulped. “Do you know what an inconvenience that was for everyone? How you inconvenienced Jimin? He had to cover for you and take the blame-”
Jimin nudged the other man with his elbow, cutting him off before he could continue. “Don't,” he admonished gently. “He and I already talked about it. You don't have to speak for me.”
“I know I don't,” Yoongi conceded, his expression soft towards Jimin. “But he needs to understand that he can't just waltz in and out like that. That his actions affect more people than himself.”
“I do!” Jungkook blurted out. “I do understand that, hyung. I don't have an excuse for what I did. And I'm sorry. I do understand how irresponsible it was. I know that doesn't make up for anything but I'll spend however long trying to make it up to you, Jimin, the staff, Bang PD-nim, the fans...And everybody. I'm sorry.”
“...Okay,” Yoongi said after a brief pause. “I'll believe it when I see it. But until then, you have some ground to cover with me. I don't have a soft spot for you like Jimin does.”
Jungkook blushed and glanced at Jimin, wondering if that was true. Did Jimin have a soft spot for him? Even in the midst of getting scolded for the hundredth time that day, he felt a small swell of happiness at the thought.
But that happiness was cut to the quick with Namjoon's next words. “Jimin...Looks like someone is here for you.”
Everyone followed Namjoon's eyeline to the bar where Jungkook saw a tall man with parted, black hair, sharp eyes, and a handsome face sitting and looking up to the VIP section – obviously honed in on Jimin. He raised his glass when he saw that Jimin's attention was finally on him. Then he beckoned him down with a wave of his hand.
“That's my cue,” Jimin said, standing up. He picked up Yoongi's drink and held it in the air. “To letting off steam.” Everyone else except Jungkook and Yoongi – because his was taken – raised their glasses and repeated Jimin's words before Jimin put the drink to his lips and tossed it back.
“Yah!” Yoongi protested. But Jimin paid him no mind. He made his way around the table and left the VIP section, heading towards the ridiculously handsome man who – in Jungkook's opinion – wore way too much makeup for a simple night on the town.
“Who is that?” he asked the others, his brow furrowing when Jimin reached the other man and they immediately embraced before placing a quick kiss on each other's lips.
“Ryu Won,” Taehyung answered with a roll of his eyes. “Jimin's sort-of-boyfriend-but-not-really.”
Jungkook's eyebrows rose to his hairline. “What?!” he asked loudly. Everyone jumped at his overzealous shout. “I thought they broke up.”
“They did,” Taehyung responded. “I mean, they are. Still broken up. I think now they're just fuck buddies. That's what Jimin told me anyway.” He shrugged.
Jungkook's stomach dropped. That dread feeling again.
His eyes went back to the floor where Jimin and Ryu Won were dancing so close to each other that there was no space to breathe in between them. “Is- Is it safe to do that here?” he asked. “What if someone takes a picture? What if it gets on the news?” He scowled.
“I wouldn't worry about that,” Namjoon said. “This crowd is pretty much only the entertainment industry crowd or those related to the industry. It's sort of an unwritten rule that if any rumors come out about anything that happens here, it'll be a domino effect. So everyone just keeps quiet for self-preservation reasons if nothing else.”
Jungkook's heart clenched as he watched Jimin smile at something Ryu Won said and then fell against him in a full-bodied laugh.
He didn't question those feelings either.
* * *
Jimin's POV:
Jimin pushed his hips against Ryu Won's pelvis, feeling the other man's hardness pressed against his backside. He had no shame or guilt about going back to Ryu Won to get a sex fix whenever he needed it. Things seemed to be better between them with the understanding that they were only having sex now, nothing deeper than that.
They hadn't officially talked about the status of their relationship to establish that fact, but Jimin was sure they both understood.
This had started the night after Jungkook had left him in bed. He realized he needed to get his sexual needs met somewhere so that he didn't do anything ridiculous like try to accost a straight man. It only took one time for him to feel that type of rejection to know he was never going to put himself in that position again.
So when he had gone out with Taehyung that following night with the intention of scratching his itch, he had seen Ryu Won and come to the conclusion that sleeping with someone he already knew would take less time and work than going through painful small talk with somebody new and then having sex with someone who may or may not be physically compatible with him. Even though Ryu Won could choke as far as he was concerned, at least he knew they had good sex together. And that was all he had needed and wanted at the time.
And they had been repeating this little song and dance every night since.
Jimin found it funny how Ryu Won suddenly had all the time in the world for him now that he wasn't expected to do more than give him a good time in bed.
He pushed his hips back against Ryu Won once again and heard a groan fall from his lips. The taller man placed a kiss at the crook of Jimin's neck before whispering, “Babe, I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a minute. Let's get out of here when I get back, okay?”
Jimin rolled his eyes, anger rising in him anew when the man mentioned the bathroom. Yes, he was still bitter about the fact that he just ran off and left him the last time he had mentioned going to the bathroom. But he wasn't worried whether the man would leave this time. He honestly didn't care if he did. He only kept coming to him for the sake of convenience. If need be, he could find someone else to take care of him in a second. “Okay,” he said. And just like that, the heat of the other man's body was gone from behind him.
He stopped dancing deciding it would be a good time to go to the bar and grab a drink.
When he ordered and the bartender started in on making his drink, he felt someone come to stand beside him.
“You're back alread-?” His question stopped midway when he saw that it wasn't Ryu Won but a smirking Jungkook standing beside him.
He blinked and pulled back a bit from where he sat on his stool. He pulled back because one...Jungkook was standing mightily close. Two...He was looking particularly handsome tonight and Jimin had just sworn off trying to pounce on straight men. And three...he needed to see his expression better. Why the hell was he smirking?
“What are you smirking at?” Jimin asked, voicing his question aloud.
Jungkook's smirk grew into a smile. The slight dopiness of his grin and the slight blush of his cheeks led Jimin to believe that Jungkook had finished off the glass of bourbon he had left him with upstairs and had maybe ordered at least two more. “You,” Jungkook answered.
Jimin's brows hitched. Jungkook was obviously tipsy but he didn't slur. In fact, he looked pretty confident. The meek shyness that usually underlied many of his actions didn't seem to be there. Jimin scooted a little further away from the other man. He didn't need a confident Jungkook to be standing next to him right now.
“Me?” he asked. “What about me?”
“You with Ryu Won,” Jungkook said. And Jimin was about to be offended and opened his mouth to retort until Jungkook continued. “When you know you're better than him. Watching you two is like watching an angel with a troll.”
Jimin blinked. And then blushed. And then blinked again. And then laughed against his will. “Where did that come from?” he asked.
Jungkook shrugged.
When a new song of the DJ's set started, Jungkook gently grabbed Jimin's wrist. “Dance with me.” It was more of a command than a question.
Jimin's loins stirred.
He did not like that.
He pulled his wrist from Jungkook's soft grasp and turned back to the front to find that his drink was made and sitting in front of him. “No,” he said. He began to stir his drink quickly.
Jungkook leaned against the bar, a soft furrow between his brow. “Why not?”
“Why should I?” Jimin asked.
“Because...” Jungkook seemed to think for a moment before the answer came to him with clarity. “You want to.”
Jimin laughed. His heart pattered wildly against his chest. “What? No, I don't.”
“Yes, you do,” Jungkook goaded, leaning more into Jimin's space. Jimin refused to look at him. “You have a soft spot for me. That's what Yoongi hyung said.”
“Yoongi says a lot of things,” Jimin said. “He went on a whole rant about how we're merely robots created from an alien's experiment so...his words mean nothing.”
“Sounds legit to me,” Jungkook murmured before taking Jimin's wrist again.
Heat shot up Jimin's arm. He needed Jungkook to lose some of this boldness immediately. 'Remind me to never go drinking with him again,' Jimin told himself.
“Dance with me,” Jungkook suggested again. This time in a soft and imploring voice.
Jimin felt himself cracking.
“Why do you even want to dance with someone who's gross?” he asked.
He watched Jungkook's face fall. “I didn't mean it like that,” Jungkook said. “I didn't mean that. You're not gross, Jimin.”
Jungkook tugged gently on Jimin's arm, trying to coax him onto the dance floor. “Please, hyung?”
“Jimin. You ready to go?”
Jimin turned around to see that Ryu Won was back from the bathroom. Jungkook's grip tightened on his arm. He looked back to the younger man to see a scowl directed at Ryu Won before he turned back to direct an imploring look at Jimin. 'Please,' Jungkook mouthed. Jimin felt a tug at his heart. He wanted to stay. He wanted to do anything the younger man asked of him.
Which is exactly why he stood up and extracted himself from Jungkook's grip. “I'll see you later, Jungkook,” he said turning away from him. He tilted his head toward Ryu Won. “Let's go.”
He left without turning back. He couldn't turn back.
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