They just laid there silently for a while. Jungkook started to think Jimin had fallen asleep again until he spoke.
“Jungkook.”
“Mm?”
“You know that boyfriend I told you about?”
“Yeah.”
“...We broke up.”
Jimin confessed it to the dark. It was an issue that had been weighing on him for the past few days. He needed to talk to someone about it. He didn't know why he chose to confide in someone younger than him who may or may not be homophobic but...whatever.
“Oh...” Jimin felt Jungkook's hand rub his back once. Twice. Awkwardly. In some weird gesture of comfort. “Do you know why?” the younger man finally ended up asking.
“Well...I know why we broke up,” Jimin said. They were speaking quietly as if they were having a private conversation even though no one was in the house besides themselves. “But I don't know why he did the thing that caused the breakup.”
“What did he do?” Jungkook asked, trying to decipher Jimin's clunky explanation.
Jimin burrowed into Jungkook's chest as if trying to seek extra comfort. “...He cheated,” he finally whispered, almost so softly that Jungkook couldn't hear it.
Jungkook instinctively wrapped his arm tighter around Jimin, pulling him closer. He had never met Jimin's boyfriend – he didn't even know his name – but he hated him already. His hyung was confidence and happiness personified on good days but someone had made him sound broken and curl in on himself like this. It was infuriating.
“When I found out, I just told him it was over and I haven't talked to him since,” Jimin continued.
Jungkook wondered if that's why the other man had been looking down lately. “Good,” he said in response to Jimin.
“That's what I thought,” Jimin said. “But lately I've been feeling like I need to know why he did what he did. Why I wasn't good enough.”
“Hyung-”
“I know, I know,” Jimin said. “It's not me, it's him. But it's so weird to think about how I was thinking we were starting to become something serious and he was just headed in a completely different direction. It's scary how you can read someone so wrong.”
Jungkook nodded. He could understand that. “Well, hyung-” He started, then stopped.
“What?” Jimin prompted.
“Do you want my advice or do you just need to vent?” Jungkook asked.
“Advice,” Jimin replied.
“I think that if you talk to him...No matter what he says, it won't be what you want to hear. He cheated. There's no good reason for that. So if you do talk to him, I don't think you should go in expecting something like that. I think the best you can hope for is a sincere apology. And then see what you want to do from there. But only talk to him when and if you feel ready. If you never feel ready, that's okay too. Don't meet up with him if it's something that only he wants. He's lost the privilege to call you out anytime he wants. Everything is in your hands now.”
Jimin was shocked at Jungkook's words. How could such mature and wholesome advice come from someone so...well...Jungkook?
“How do you know so much about relationships?” Jimin asked.
Jungkook shrugged. “I guess it comes naturally.”
This caused Jimin to scoff and roll his eyes. 'I guess the ego comes naturally too,' he thought. “That's ironic,” Jimin said, ready to put the younger man back in his place. “Coming from someone who almost bit his girlfriend's lip off the first time they kissed.”
“Are you ever going to let that go?” Jungkook spat. Jimin could imagine the angry flush that was probably filling the younger man's face now.
“Nope,” Jimin retorted.
“It was a one-time thing!” Jungkook sputtered. “And it was my first kiss!” He didn't know how many times he needed to highlight that point, but he would do it as many times as needed.
“That's no excuse,” Jimin shot back. “I never bit through my girlfriend's lip on the first kiss.”
There was a bit of silence and Jimin didn't know why until Jungkook asked, “You had a girlfriend?”
Ah. “Yes,” Jimin replied. “Back before I committed myself to the gay agenda.”
“...Is there a gay agenda?”
Pause. “You're kidding, right?”
Jungkook chuckled. “Yes.”
“Oh.” Jimin relaxed back into his pillow, relieved. “I can't tell with you sometimes because you're an idiot.”
“I'm not.” Jimin could hear the pout in his voice.
“You are.”
Jungkook reached under Jimin's shirt and pinched the skin of his back. “Get back to the story,” he said. “You had a girlfriend, and? How was it? Did you like her?”
“I did like her,” Jimin said. “She was fun to hang out with. But it was nothing special. Like most middle school loves, we just got together because we felt it was something we should do. You know...the other kids were doing it.” He laughed. “But nothing really came of it. We kissed a couple of times and then over the summer break we broke up simply because we weren't seeing each other everyday.”
“Then, in high school, I had another girlfriend. I lost my virginity to her. But around then is when I really started to struggle with my sexuality so...she went through a lot. I broke up with her when I realized I was being unfair to her. And that's when I really threw myself into working towards my career as an entertainer.”
“I don't understand how you can have sex with a girl if you're gay,” Jungkook said.
“A hole is a hole,” Jimin said crudely.
“Eww,” Jungkook whined.
Jimin laughed at his 12-year-old response.
“No, but seriously...” Jimin said. “Sexuality is not just about sex. At least not to me. I guess for some people it could be. Some people would probably label me as bi just because I have the capacity to be physically attracted to girls. But I don't label myself that way because when I envision a happy, fulfilled future...I don't see a girl by my side.”
Jungkook was silent.
“You don't understand what I mean, do you?” Jimin guessed.
“No,” Jungkook replied honestly. “I can't understand why you would entertain the thought of being with a man in that way when you could have a girl. You may feel like you want to be with a man...but it's wrong. So why would you just not take the easier path?”
Jimin felt a stab to his heart at the casual way that Jungkook just dismissed and damned his entire existence. He usually would cut someone off the minute they showed any sign of a lack of acceptance towards him but there was something about Jungkook that made him tamp down his anger. Give him chance after chance. He didn't feel that the kid's blunt words came from an intentionally malicious place. He propped himself up onto his elbow, looking down in Jungkook's general direction because he couldn't quite see him in the dark. “Why is it wrong?” Jimin asked, wanting to hear Jungkook's reasoning for saying what he said.
“Because the Bible says so,” Jungkook said easily. “Society says so. Biology says so. Everything says that it's wrong. Okay, maybe wrong isn't the right word. I think the better word is unnatural.”
Jimin's eyes widened and another shot went through his heart. He really was dealing with a homophobe here. A homophobe who didn't even realize how homophobic he was being if the casual way he said these things was any indication.
Jimin withdrew his arm from around Jungkook's waist, finding the younger man much less cute in this moment. “No,” Jimin said. “That's not a better word.” He chuckled derisively.
“Oh...” Jungkook said. “I don't mean to offend-”
“You are,” Jimin cut him off before he could even finish that sentence. “You are offending me, but I don't want to stop talking about it. I like talking about these things.”
He really didn't. But his heart was pounding with a strange, overwhelming desire to argue with Jungkook until the other man saw his point of view on this. He knew that was an unhealthy thought to have and an unfair burden to put on himself – it wasn't his job to convince anybody of anything – but that didn't stop him this time.
“You said the Bible says it's wrong,” Jimin said. “Well, who says the Bible is right? Who wrote the Bible?”
“God,” Jungkook responded.
“Nuh-uh, idiot. Men wrote the Bible. And they only claimed it was what God told them.”
Jungkook was quiet.
'Ha,' Jimin thought victoriously, taking Jungkook's silence as a winning point for himself.
“You don't have to call me names,” Jungkook mumbled.
Jimin counted that as another point for himself. Instead of a rebuttal, the younger man could only comment about the well-deserved insult he had received.
“I do,” Jimin said stubbornly. “And just because society says something is right doesn't mean it's always right either,” Jimin said, undeterred from his defenses. “There could be a law passed tomorrow that tells us it's okay to marry 13-year-olds like in the past. Doesn't mean it would be right. Society changes. Values change. So you can't base morality on that.”
Jungkook was quiet again.
'Three points, me. Dung-kookie, zero,' Jimin thought, not caring how petty his inner voice sounded.
“You still haven't really answered my question though,” Jungkook finally said.
“What question?”
“Even if you feel like you want to be with a man, why would you act on that? I mean...let's focus on the purely physical aspect. A girl's sexual organs are designed to accommodate a man's. The opposite sexes are quite literally designed for each other. The genitalia and all the other stuff like making kids...Only a woman and a man together are able to make a baby. If two people of the same sex were meant to be together in that way, don't you think we all would have been designed to have the potential to reproduce?”
Jimin rolled his eyes. He tamped down his frustration at the fact that the other man was still willing to argue with him and focused on answering the question. “Okay,” he said. “If you use that logic...What about the women who can't reproduce?”
“Huh?”
“There are some women who, for whatever reason, are unable to have children. Are they unnatural too?”
“Well, no...But-”
“Exactly,” Jimin interrupted. “The ability to reproduce has no bearing on the value of a person or their relationships.”
“That wasn't what I was trying to say.”
“Then what were you trying to say?”
Jungkook sighed. “I guess what I'm most confused about is the fact that, based on what you've said...You can have sex with a girl...and get pleasure from it. So why not...instead of committing yourself to this whole other lifestyle...why not just wait for a girl to come along that you could find yourself falling in love with? Why actively go out of your way to just focus on being with men?”
“Because I want to be with a man,” Jimin said, frustrated. Even though he subscribed to the belief that sexuality could be a layered and complex thing, he didn't understand why it was so hard for Jungkook to grasp this concept.
“Why?” the younger man asked again.
Jimin groaned and ran his hand through his hair. The last thing he knew, he had been sleeping peacefully. Since when did he sign up for a debate? In his own home? But he kept going, returning the younger man's question with a question of his own. “Okay, how about this? Why have you only wanted to be with women your whole life?”
“Because I like them!” Jungkook said immediately.
“Exactly!” Jimin said. “It's that simple! I want to be with men because I like men!”
“More than women?”
“Romantically, yes.”
“...But why?”
“Ughhhh!”
* * *
Jungkook was banished from the bed and released from all cuddling duties. He decided not to tell Jimin that he did find that to be quite a cruel punishment.
* * *
The next day, after the announcement, Jungkook got his first glimpse into what being a celebrity truly meant. No down time. He and Jimin were going from the minute they got up in the morning to the minute they went to sleep.
They had started the day with an interview for an online magazine, which led into a photoshoot for the new album cover, and then there was a radio show, another interview, shooting for a music video, a press conference, filming for an online promotional video, and then...Jungkook had been allowed to guest on the variety show, Come Together, with Jimin. He had allowed Jimin to take the lead on any and all questions because he had been too nervous to even open his mouth. It was so bad that the hosts of the show started to make a running joke out of the fact that Jimin seemed to be his spokesperson instead of his duo partner. They had received a call afterwards from Bang PD himself to tell Jungkook he would have to start speaking up more.
After hanging up, Jimin had reassured Jungkook by stroking his fingers beneath his chin. “Don't worry,” he said quietly. “You were cute.”
And that wasn't the last time Jimin had surprised him with his renewed gentleness toward the younger singer.
He fed him between breaks, made sure his makeup was constantly touched up, and constantly urged him on with a stroke of his hand through the younger man's hair or a soft pat of the cheek or a gentle and playful pinch on his ribs. And he made him look good during every broadcast they attended.
At the last radio show they attended, the MC had asked Jimin what surprised him about Jungkook now that he was working with him and the older man had responded: “Though he's a little on the quiet side, Jungkookie is a relationship expert.”
Jungkook had blushed fiercely and – admittedly, for a second – suspected Jimin was about to tease him for the injury he had done to his girlfriend again, but the older man had continued by saying, “He gave me some relationship advice that actually turned out to be pretty helpful. And it surprised me because he's so young.” And then he had expertly dodged any follow-up questions about their dating lives by saying, “Of course we're too busy to put that knowledge to good use but...it surprised me nonetheless.”
From then on, Jungkook knew that no matter how Jimin felt about him personally, the other man would remain professional. He had been afraid their bickering last night had further soured things between them.
Granted, their relationship still wasn't like it was before with Jimin constantly doting on Jungkook whenever he could. But it was good.
So Jungkook put his complete trust in Jimin and followed his lead through the days, weeks, and then months of their promotion after his debut.
* * *
It had been three months since Jungkook's debut, and he was happy. Jimin's fans had welcomed Jungkook with open arms and they were currently one of the top Kpop acts. They already had a few music show wins under their belt and Jungkook thanked God everyday for how lucky he was.
They had just finished performing at Music Bank and Jungkook found Jimin backstage, lounging on a couch with his legs crossed and talking to a camera. Jungkook assumed it was for filming behind-the-scenes footage. He smiled and made his way over, ready to interrupt.
There was something else that had changed in the months that they had started working together.
Jungkook sat down and playfully began to chase Jimin's lips with his own. Jimin, surprised at the sudden intrusion, turned away with a giggle and skillfully avoided Jungkook's advances.
Jungkook had become a bit of a tease.
It had become a bit of a game between the two to see who could make the other back down first. A game of Gay Chicken if you will. The fact that they were heavily shipped and spurred on by fans and their company itself didn't help matters. Jungkook hadn't yet learned that he should never play the game with someone as shameless and competitive as Jimin.
After about five seconds of avoiding, Jimin suddenly turned his head back towards Jungkook causing the younger man's lips to crash into his face. Jungkook jumped back as if shocked while Jimin smiled a sly smile.
Jungkook was so freaked out that he didn't even know what his lips had actually caught. He just knew that was too close for comfort. He tried to force a smile for the cameras, but with wide eyes, he vacated the couch as quickly as possible.
By the time they were making their way back home in the van, Jungkook was still not meeting his eyes so Jimin decided to show him some mercy. “Hey,” he said, looking up from the book he had opened in his lap. “You didn't touch my lips. You kissed my chin.” He pointed to the area right below his lips. “Trust me. If you had kissed my lips, you would have known it.” He winked and blew a kiss Jungkook's way – which caused the younger man to blush red all over again and turn back towards the window – before turning back to his book.
A smile of amusement coaxed the corners of Jimin's lips upwards.
* * *
Jimin's POV:
Jimin didn't know what Jungkook's game was.
The younger man still continuously debated Jimin about his sexuality whenever the topic came up but his actions were becoming increasingly confusing.
It was quite typical of Jungkook to come over to Jimin's house now since they had scheduled activities together and it was easier to just leave from the same place. And tonight was no different. The two men were brushing their teeth in Jimin's expansive bathroom. Jungkook was seated on the marble countertop next to the sink, facing Jimin, while Jimin stood next to him facing the mirror.
He turned on the rush of water and spat out the foam in his mouth, watching it swirl down the drain while simultaneously ignoring the fact that Jungkook's legs were suddenly inching around him and dragging him to stand directly in front of the younger man.
Standing between Jungkook's knees as the brunette's legs dangled on either side of him, Jimin narrowed his eyes suspiciously but refrained from asking any questions at that particular second, instead deigning to place his toothbrush back into his mouth and continue brushing.
Jungkook gave a shit-eating grin before turning to the side and spitting his own mouthful of toothpaste into the sink.
Unable to hold his curiosity for long, Jimin asked, “What are you doing?”
Jungkook took a small paper cup from the stack resting beside the sink and filled it with water to rinse his mouth. “You know how in k-dramas the leads always have a cheesy scene like this? Either brushing their teeth together or cooking together and getting all messy with the flour?” Jungkook laughed, a goofy smile on his face, as if that clearly explained his thought pattern.
It didn't.
“Uh-huh?” Jimin said in a questioning tone.
“I always wanted to try it.” That smile was still spread across his face.
Jimin allowed his glance to slip to Jungkook's lips for a second. But only for a second.
“You watch too many dramas,” he said.
He took the paper cup filled with water that Jungkook held out to him and rinsed his mouth. Allowing his hand to grip the younger man's muscled thigh, Jimin leaned over to spit into the sink before wiping his mouth with a towel. “All done,” he said, rising up with a grin and backing away from Jungkook.
Jimin was convinced Jungkook didn't know what kind of dangerous game he was playing.
Jimin hadn't had sex – not even a one-night stand – since the night he had impulsively broken up with Ryu Won. And that had been months ago. He was starving for some sexual attention and Jungkook was just like a little unsuspecting deer wandering into a wolf's den with his flirtations.
He understood the flirting when cameras were rolling, but he didn't understand what was happening when they were off camera and Jungkook's flirting continued. Especially when the younger man made his views about homosexuality clear.
If it wasn't for the fact that Jungkook had a girlfriend, Jimin was sure he would have broken his own willpower by now and showed the younger exactly what would happen if he was teased too much but he knew how it felt to be cheated on. And he refused to subject anyone to that by his hands.
But that was a resolve he had before he was in bed with Jungkook's hand trailing the skin beneath his shirt.
“What are you doing?” Jimin asked for the second time that night.
“Writing my name,” Jungkook responded. And Jimin was sure if the lights were on and he could see, he would see that same playful and innocent smile adorning the other man's face.
Jimin hated it.
He hated that the other man always had a cavalier explanation for what he was doing even though it was driving Jimin, himself, crazy. All of Jimin's past experiences with hook-ups and in relationships was telling him that Jungkook was doing this on purpose and trying to draw a response out of him. Any other time in his life that someone had reached underneath his shirt and gently caressed him had led to more...intimate things.
But he didn't know exactly what Jungkook was looking for. His actions and his words greatly contradicted each other. And more than that, any time Jimin did turn the flirtation back around on the younger man, he never failed to run away. The day's earlier events in front of the camera was testament to that.
Lying on his back, with his arm thrown over his head, Jimin breathed slowly and deeply trying to keep his libido at bay. But he didn't push Jungkook's hand away. He enjoyed the touch.
When Jungkook laid his palm flat against his stomach, Jimin couldn't help but to release a soft noise from the back of his throat. “Mm.” He could feel the warmth from Jungkook's large hand sinking into his skin. He was really, really on thin ice here. He felt like a rubber band being stretched taut, close to snapping. “Your hand is warm,” he murmured.
Jungkook curled his fingers and trailed his nails gently across Jimin's stomach. “Are you ticklish, hyung?” the younger man asked.
“No,” Jimin lied. He was quite ticklish, but he wasn't about to release that information. He knew how people tended to use that particular weakness against him whenever he let his guard down if they ever knew about it.
But, of course, Jungkook didn't take his word for it. They never did.
Jungkook slid his hand to Jimin's side and dug his fingers in between his ribs. Jimin contracted and a laugh was forced from his throat. The older man thought all people who liked to assault people with tickles were psychopaths. They apparently obtained a sick thrill from watching their victims squirm in helpless laughter until their stomachs hurt and tears streamed down their face. So before Jungkook could cause him to reach that point, he used all of his strength to force the other man onto his back and pin his arms to the bed next to his head while Jimin straddled him.
“I was trying to play nice,” Jimin started. But he was cut off when Jungkook flipped them again, reversing their positions.
Jimin tried to reverse them again, but Jungkook fought back until they were both fully struggling against each other beneath the sheets. The impromptu wrestling match was punctuated by heavy breathing and light giggling.
Eventually, Jimin hooked his leg around Jungkook's and shouldered against him pushing him onto his back on the bed. An increasingly tired Jungkook put all his focus into catching Jimin's hands before he could return the tickle attack instead of trying to regain the dominant position. That was okay, though. Because Jimin decided to use his mouth to enact revenge.
He placed his mouth on Jungkook's left ear and tickled it with his tongue.
Jungkook became breathless with giggles. “Stop!” he gasped out. “Stop, stop! Please stop.” He pushed his face into the pillows trying to escape Jimin's tongue, but the older man followed him. “Stop it,” Jungkook giggled again, but his voice held no power and his grip began to slowly loosen from around Jimin's hands. Feeling the fight fade from Jungkook's body, Jimin began to tease Jungkook's ear with a new kind of energy. He caught Jungkook's earlobe gently between his teeth and gave it a playful bite before gently scraping his teeth downward.
A couple more short giggles tumbled from Jungkook's lips but the shift in the atmosphere was tangible. Soon the only sounds that filled the darkness of the room were deep breaths and the soft smack of wet kisses as Jimin took his ministrations from Jungkook's ear to his jawline to his neck. He moved slowly, his tongue lapping gently against the younger man's pulse point.
He gripped the soft skin between his teeth and gave a gentle suck. Jimin's eyes rolled shut as he enjoyed the fact that he was finally getting a chance to sink his teeth into the younger man. He was already hard. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when he had grown to be in such a state, but he assumed it must have been somewhere between Jungkook feeling him up and their little wrestling match. Either way, he rocked his hips almost imperceptibly against Jungkook's thigh, trying to get just a tiny bit of friction and relief. His movements were small because he wasn't sure how far Jungkook wanted to take this. The younger man wasn't offering up any sounds to encourage him in any direction. Only Jimin's hand on Jungkook's heaving chest told him that the other man hadn't completely turned to stone.
He kissed his way back up Jungkook's cheek while gently coaxing the brunette's head in his direction.
His eyes had somewhat adjusted to the darkness but he still couldn't see properly so he placed his fingers over where he expected Jungkook's lips to be. When he felt small puffs of air against his fingers, he knew he was right. Gently running his fingertips against the soft pink swells of Jungkook's lips, he asked softly, “Can I kiss you?”
The question hung in the air unanswered. Unsure how to interpret that, Jimin threw caution to the wind and moved his fingers, replacing them slowly with his pillowy lips. For a moment, he held still – his lips simply pressed against Jungkook's, giving Jungkook permission to pull away if he wanted to. When Jungkook tentatively opened his lips, allowing him access, Jimin readily took the invitation. He slotted his lips against Jungkook's and led him into a sweet, open-mouthed kiss. But it seemed just as soon as it had started, it was interrupted by a rough shove against his shoulders.
“Ew. Get off of me, hyung. Gross,” Jungkook muttered harshly before vacating the bed.
Just like that. The sweetness was turned to something sour in a matter of seconds.
Jimin was left alone confused and rejected with the bitter taste on his tongue as his brain tried to catch up to what just happened.
After trying to dissect it and still coming up empty, he could only decide on one thing for sure. He would never let himself lose control or be vulnerable like that in front of Jeon Jungkook again.
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