Rick lazily strolled around the dining room of the Walshes' residence while a great portion of roasted turkey lay digesting in his stomach. He still had some of the aftertaste of the fine meal on his tongue. Reminding himself that he would have to thank the chef later, Rick walked over to a framed photograph that stood atop the mantle over the fireplace. The picture showed a smiling Lori and Shane at the hospital as they held their newborn first child, Carl between them.
The bourbon Rick currently held in a glass beckoned to him suddenly. He drank.
A small feeling of envy always managed to sneak its way into his heart every time he saw the Walsh family and how happy they were. And he saw them a lot. They were his best friends.
He loved them all and was happy for every success and accomplishment they made in life, but there was a part of him that always wondered...what if it had been me? What if he had been the one that Lori chose? What if he had been the one who now had two beautiful children?
But he would sweep those thoughts away as quickly as they came because he felt guilty. It wasn't right to covet another man's family. Especially if that man was your best friend. But it was hard not to let his thoughts stray whenever he went home to his empty abode.
A baby's laughter drifted through the doorway of the dining room.
Rick made his way to the door and stood there, watching the family in action.
Judith was currently creating a fuss by refusing to get into her pajamas.
"Come on, Judy," Lori coaxed. "We gotta go to bed, sweetheart."
Judith cooed and altogether ignored her mother. She wiggled her arms and legs, making it virtually impossible for Lori to outfit her in her sleeping clothes. An indulgent smile graced Lori's face as she took in her daughter's actions. She wasn't even frustrated.
Warmth touched Rick's chest as he watched them. He almost looked away when Lori glanced up and caught him staring. She seemed surprised that he was watching for a moment before she sent him a soft smile. "We'll be there in a minute," she assured him. "Once we get this one to bed." She tweaked Judith's nose, which made the little girl laugh harder.
"Lemme handle it," Shane said, taking the pajamas from Lori. "I know how to talk to her."
"Oh, you know how to talk to her," Lori teased, relinquishing the pajamas. "Fine. Let's see how you do."
"You don't think I can do it?" Shane asked.
Lori held up her hands innocently. "I'm just saying let's see you try," she responded playfully. "It's not like I haven't had to do this every night when you're late 'cause of work."
"Fine," Shane grumbled, taking Lori's exaggerated affrontation in stride. "I'll show you what I can do. Ain't that right, Judy? We're gonna have you in these clothes and in bed in ten minutes flat. Then your mama's gonna have to make it up to me for doubting me."
"Make it up to you how?"
"Oh, you know how," Shane replied, his eyebrow lifted suggestively. He wrapped an arm around Lori and pulled her close. She laughed happily.
Rick turned away from the happy couple and walked back towards the mantle overhanging the fireplace. He tried to tune out the happy chatter for a moment, and in doing so, he began to reflect.
Once Lori entered the picture, it had been like this for as long as he could remember. She and Shane getting lost in each other while he looked on from the sidelines. He thought this feeling would have gone away by now. This feeling of resentment and pain underneath his sincere love and happiness for his two friends. But the feeling didn't go away. He was beginning to believe it never would. He would have to live with it, festering like cancer, for a lifetime.
They had met Lori in Junior High. She had come to the school, new and beautiful. People immediately liked her because she was quiet and sweet. Rick liked her most of all.
It took Shane a little while.
Shane had been dating the head cheerleader at the time. And looking for new recruits, the head cheerleader – Stacy, had quickly began to try to get Lori to join the cheerleading squad. Lori wasn't into it though. Instead of standing in front of a crowd and waving pom-poms around, she was more interested in the Student Council and Future Leaders of America. She was conservative, a bit shy, and a bit judgmental. None of the things that Shane was fond of.
But it was when Stacy played a mean prank on Lori during a party and Lori ended up coming out of the confrontation a bigger woman that Rick started to notice a shift in Shane's view of her.
He broke up with Stacy and stopped complaining so much when Rick suggested they invite Lori to things. And then – Shane being the outspoken and blunt teenager that Rick wasn't – Shane ended up confessing his attraction first. And that was it. Lori was Shane's girlfriend from then on. And Rick was left wondering, 'What if?'
'What if I had confessed first?'
'What if I would have been more obvious?'
'What if we could have been the ones in love with two beautiful children?'
"Rick."
Rick was startled out of his thoughts when Shane called his name. He turned to see his friend standing in the doorway. He no longer heard Judith's babbling so he assumed Shane had worked a miracle and had actually gotten the little girl to go to sleep. "Yeah?" Rick answered.
"So when you gonna get you a wife, man?"
Rick sighed. Shane always teased him like this. He was wondering if the man would ever grow tired.
"Maybe when King County doubles its population," Rick joked. He took a seat at the polished wood dining room table set up in the middle of the room. "All of the women here are taken. Or do you want me to go ask Mrs. Niedermeyer on a date?"
"If she's willin'," Shane said with a shrug. Rick chuckled and shook his head as Shane pulled out a chair and sat opposite him. "I'm serious, man. Good lookin' man like you don't need to be spendin' his days workin' and holed up in his house alone. You need to have kids so our offspring can play together. Grow up and be tight like us."
Rick laughed again. "It's amazin' how much my getting married and havin' kids has so much to do with you. You care about it more than I do." Rick's voice was a tired gravel.
"Well, somebody's got to care about it," Shane shot back. "I doubt you woulda even lost your virginity if I wouldn't have made you go out with Julie Hills our freshman year of college."
"Don't mention that," Rick said, bad memories flooding his mind. But amusement colored his voice. Looking back on it, he could find humor in the situation. "I hate you for that, you know that? She practically forced herself on me. I was scared out of my wits! I thought she was possessed!"
"Well, you musta done somethin' right. She stalked you for the rest of that semester," Shane laughed.
Rick shook his head. "I really oughta pay you back for that..."
"Pay me back? Man, you owe me for that."
He nodded his head, signaling Rick to give him the rest of his bourbon that he wasn't finishing off. Rick slid it across the table and it scraped a straight path right to Shane's hand. "Shit," Shane said, noticing a small mark in the polish of the wood. "Remind me to put a bowl, a vase, or some shit over that. Lori'll kill me if she sees it."
He finished Rick's drink and hissed as the bourbon warmed its way down his throat.
"But I'm serious, Rick," he started back. "Whatchu waitin' for?" He paused. And then smirked. "You waitin' for that model to come back into your life?"
Rick cleared his throat, wishing that he had another glass of bourbon. Again, he was wishing that this was something that could have been forgotten by now. "Nope," he replied, hoping they'd quickly get onto another subject. "That's over."
Shane leaned back in his seat and studied Rick. "Uh huh..." he said. "You know, I still don't believe you, right? A cock-and-bull story about you and a top model having some epic romance..."
"Why not?" Rick asked. "You know she grew up here. Hell, you interviewed the whole town after I told you and you heard them all say she and I were close..."
"Close, yeah, but you were her first love, Rick? And she dedicated her first magazine spread to you?"
Rick shrugged. Stubbornness and indignation that Shane still found it so hard to believe that he had dated a model spurred him to continue a lie he had started in college.
The lie that Michonne Teale and he were young loves, and that he had had to break up with her due to their long distance relationship.
"Yeah," Rick said. "What's so hard to believe about that?"
"Well, tell me this," Shane said. "If she was your girlfriend, why did it take you so long to tell me? You didn't tell me 'till college. And y'all were supposedly together during high school. Hell, y'all were supposedly together during the whole Julie Mills fiasco. Why'd you go out on a blind date if you were already dating someone?"
Rick blushed. He was no good at lying. But pride demanded that he keep this up.
He shrugged. "The long distance thing..."
"Bullshit!" Shane said. "You wouldn't cheat if you had a girlfriend, Rick, I know you!"
"Are y'all arguing about this again?" Lori came into the room and spoke in an exasperated tone. She reached the dining room table and kissed Shane on his forehead before she sat down herself. "Leave him alone, Shane. If he says he dated Michonne...I believe him!"
"I appreciate it," Rick said.
Lori nodded her camaraderie.
He turned a childishly victorious stare to Shane. 'See?'
Shane tsked. "You're both delusional."
Junior Year of College
Rick felt as if all of the wind had been knocked out of him.
"Lori Reynolds...would you please do me the great honor of being my wife? I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Rick watched Shane propose to the woman he had had a crush on for about four years. Lori gasped with tears in her eyes and he watched her accept the ring while nodding profusely, as she couldn't speak.
They were in a restaurant, La Bella's. And there were ten other people in the room. Rick had wondered why Shane, a man country from his head to his toes, had chosen such an upscale place but everything was made clear in that moment. And Rick would remember the moment forever.
He felt as if his whole world was falling apart, but he mustered a smile and congratulated his best friends. They deserved it.
Shane announced that Rick would, of course, be his best man and Rick was extremely touched. They had agreed a long time ago to be there for each other on their most significant day.
But he still battled those underlying feelings during an outing that had suddenly turned into an engagement ceremony.
And then Shane's playful teasing started. And Rick just hadn't been in the mood for it that day.
"You know since you're my best man, you'll have to bring a date to the wedding," Shane started. "You got any ideas?"
Rick forced a smile. "Nope. Not really."
"Of course..." Rick said, his arm wrapped around Lori's shoulder. "Rick, I swear you're probably the most hopeless man in this room. Even that kid's getting more play than you." Rick looked over his shoulder to see a four-year-old drinking his mother's breast milk while the father glanced around with an embarrassed expression on his face. Rick turned back around quickly before the father's eyes met his.
"Shane," Lori admonished. "That's inappropriate."
"I'm just sayin'," Shane said. "You gotta get in the saddle, Rick. Have you even dated anyone?"
Rick looked between Shane and Lori. Not only was Shane looking at him curiously but Lori was as well. He shifted in his seat, embarrassed.
He had dated before. He had dated plenty of girls. The country gentleman thing seemed to work for him. But he had never dated anyone...memorable. He could barely remember their names. Or faces. He had just been trying the dating thing while also trying to keep his mind off of the girl he really wanted to date – his best friend's girlfriend. None of the "relationships" lasted long. Definitely not long enough for him to even inform his best friend that he was dating anyone.
And now he was embarrassed because he couldn't even recall them fully.
"Yes," he answered Shane vehemently. "Of course I've dated."
"Who?" Shane asked.
"Who?!" Rick asked incredulously, as if it was the most ridiculous question in the world.
"Yeah. Who?" There was a sincere note of curiosity in Shane's voice. "I woulda thought that you'd tell me if you were dating anybody..."
'Great,' Rick thought when he realized Shane was also slightly hurt.
"Well, I couldn't tell you," Rick said quickly, thinking off the cuff.
"Why not?"
'Because I can't even tell myself...' Rick thought. Shane waited for Rick to answer and only one female came clearly to his mind.
He didn't know why she came to him in that moment. She was a childhood friend who had vanished like a phantom, but she came to his mind clear as day.
"I couldn't tell you because she's famous," Rick said, rolling with it. "I couldn't risk it getting out."
Shane's eyebrows raised. He was shocked.
Lori leaned forward in her seat. "Famous?" she asked. "You're dating someone famous?"
Rick froze. 'What are you doing?' he asked himself. Lori was still staring at him with interest. He swallowed a sizable amount of saliva that had been produced in his nervousness. "Well, I-I. Yes. Well, not anymore," he stammered.
Shane stared at him suspiciously. "You're lying."
"I'm not!" Rick said. He quickly fished around for the story in his head. "You know Michonne? Who grew up in King County?"
"Of course I know Michonne!" Shane said. "She's super famous right now! Wait...You-"
"You dated Michonne?!" Lori asked.
"Well- I-...Yes."
Michonne's pen held still in her hand, waiting for her to write down anything substantial. Michonne stared blankly at the paper while willing her brain to conjure up beautiful proses to say to the residents of King County. Finally, a spark lit and her pen began moving, creating smooth strokes across the paper, and when she was done writing, Michonne looked at her progress.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
The four-letter word was written five times across the paper. Michonne groaned, balled up her paper and tossed it across the room, it landed cleanly in the wastebasket. Pretending to be happy to be back in her hometown would take more acting prowess than portraying an iconic comic character. She pinched her bottom lip and stared at the script on her desk and then her eyes swept to a list beside it. She moved the list in front of her and glanced over the names Michonne would want at her and Mike's wedding. Grabbing the pen again, she swiveled it between her fingers, contemplating whether she should add one more name. As her brain began to work, her door slowly opened, and Sasha's smiling face and big hair popped through the open space.
Michonne looked up and greeted her friend with a smile, "Hey girl!"
"Why does your office look like a botanist's dream?" There were flowers all over Michonne's office, roses, lilies, assorted, and her favorite, yellow tulips. Sasha plopped down on the plush navy chair, picking at the vase of white roses at her side. "And please tell me suffocating you with flowers is not Mike's idea of an apology."
"Suffocating you with flowers is not Mike's idea of an apology," Michonne repeated flatly. She focused back on her list that'd been revised multiple times over several years. She felt Sasha's judgmental gaze boring into her forcing her to meet her friend's eye.
"Michonne…," Sasha stopped messing with Michonne's roses and leaned over, resting her elbows on the desk.
"Sasha, I don't want to hear it from you too." Michonne sighed and sat her pen down and placed her list in the drawer. "Mike secured me the lead role in the most talked about Marvel movie since Black Panther. This is huge."
"He also didn't tell you that going to your hometown was part of it," Sasha countered. "If I know how much you hate that town then Mike definitely knows and yet he still did it anyway without consulting you."
"He doesn't know."
Sasha's mouth dropped and she gave an exaggerated head roll. "Mi. Chonne! He's your fiancé, the man of your dreams, and you haven't told him what happened to you?" She frowned, "I almost read him the riot act this morning because I thought what he did was cruel."
Michonne crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing and her jaw tightening. "You don't need to do anything, but work on yourself. I haven't told Mike because I'm not ready to and I'm starting to regret telling you."
Sasha winced, "Don't be like that, Mich. I'm sorry, I just... don't want to see you hurt."
Michonne's eyes soften, she knew Sasha meant well, but Sasha's way of meaning well was too intrusive. "I'm just tired Sasha," Michonne admitted quietly. "I'm tired of the lectures, if I didn't leave Mike after…"
"After you caught him balls deep inside that messy bitch, Jessie." Sasha quickly shut her mouth, realizing once again she said too much.
Michonne shook her head, "Stop it. We're in a good place, a better place than ever before. I don't want to hear it," she said emphatically.
"Ok," Sasha agreeing a little too readily. The door opened again, Glenn came scrambling in, an iPad in one hand and his phone in the other, his eyes widen seeing Sasha sitting.
"Is this a good time?" He asked.
"Sit, please," Michonne said, giving Glenn a warm smile. She could feel the nervous energy radiating from Glenn. Turning to Sasha, "Why are you here anyway?" she asked her lightly.
"I need the keys to the guest house and I was told you have the only set."
Michonne nodded, opening her drawer, she grabbed the keys Sasha needed and tossed it to her friend. "Have all the furniture arrived?"
"Yeah, but you didn't need to redecorate the whole place."
"Consider it a peace offering."
Sasha's mouth quirked at the corners, "I feel like I should be the one giving you a peace offering."
"Your silence will be a start," Michonne quipped.
Sasha nodded her head, "Oh... ok..." she said sarcastically. She stood up and walked to the door, opening it just a bit, she turned to Michonne and Glenn, giving them a slight wave, "See you later, bye Glenn."
"Bye," Glenn replied from his seat.
Michonne waited until the door was closed and she was sure Sasha was gone and turned to Glenn. "When does shooting end for Storm?"
Glenn's tablet lit up, he scrolled through his list of dates, "The scheduled end date is April 18th, ma'am."
"Michonne, Glenn, please call me Michonne," she said. Glenn nodded. "Ok, schedule my wedding on May 20th."
Incredulous, Glenn leaned forward and whispered, "Do you want to talk with Mike first?"
Michonne shook her head, "No. May 20th is the date. What I need from you is to call Heath Lawrence, he's the best wedding planner in this country, but most importantly he's discreet."
"What's your price range?"
"Do you think half a million is too much?" She asked, nonchalant.
Glenn stared wide-eyed, nodded his head and then quickly shook it, "No. It's your day," he replied with a small smile.
Michonne nodded and went back to her desk, she pulled out the list of guests and gave it to Glenn. "Could you make an electronic copy of this and email it to me."
Glenn grabbed the paper from her, "Ok and your interviews with E!, Access Hollywood, People, and EW are at eleven and then you have lunch with the other cast members of Storm at 1:30 at Marvel headquarters."
"Ok, thank you."
"No problem, ma'am—Michonne, sorry." Michonne waved off his flub and just before Glenn left the room, she called out to him.
"Hey, I need to add one more name to the list."
Glenn handed the paper back to her, Michonne took her pen and wrote the one person from King County she would actually be happy to see again.
Michonne sat at the dining table after a long day of press and fake smiling, she picked at her tofu stir-fried, wishing it was a juicy double cheeseburger from Five Guys. Putting her fork down, she then picked up her glass of pinot noir and drank a generous amount, watching Mike from across the table enjoying his steak and texting in between bites. A long time ago, they were able to fill the silence with an endless conversation about their past, present, and future.
We're in a better place than ever before. Michonne closed her eyes, internally cringing from the lie she told Sasha, she doubted Sasha believed her, Michonne didn't even believe herself. It wasn't better, the falsehood of her and Mike's relationship was slowly wearing Michonne out when the arguing stopped, the passion stopped as well.
"I set a date," she said. Mike looked up from his phone, a curious expression crossing his face.
"For what?"
Rolling her eyes, she finished the rest of her wine and planted it on the table, harder than she intended. "Our wedding date, Mike."
"Ok… when is our wedding?"
"May 20th."
Mike scoffed which made Michonne turn up her nose, "Problem?" She asked.
"I hope you mean May of 2018 and not a month after you wrap up Storm? How are you going to find the time to plan a wedding and shoot the movie?"
"God did grant us the ability to multi-task," she quipped.
Mike waved his hands, "No, your focus needs to be 100% on Storm," he beat on the table with his finger, emphasizing his words.
"My focus will be on whatever I choose," Michonne said sharply. "And before you start, I know how important this role is, I know that all eyes will be watching and ready to criticize, I know this movie needs to earn back what the studio will spend and more, and I know this movie can make or break my career as an actress," Michonne reached for her glass and then stopped when upon seeing it was still empty, "I have never taken a job lightly and I'm not about to start." Michonne paused telling herself to not cry, "But, I am not waiting another year, by the time May rolls around next year, we would be engaged for eight years. Eight years."
Mike's head bent forward, shame in his eyes.
"Do you want to marry me?" Michonne asked, her heartbeat sped up and she was no longer hungry, she was sick and tired of his excuses.
"Of course, I do, baby." He got up from the table and strutted to her, he reached out and touched her cheek, smiling warmly. "I want you to be my wife. That desire has never changed, I just worry about you. You remember what happened last time you had too much on your plate?"
Michonne bent her head down, slowly nodding and biting the inside of her cheek. She remembered.
Mike lifted her chin, forcing her to look him the eye, "I love you and May 20th is a great date."
Tears in her eyes, Michonne smiled widely and happily nodded. "Great. That's great. And I'm not going to be planning the wedding by myself, Glenn is working on hiring a wedding planner who'll be doing the bulk of the work."
Mike stood up straight, his phone lit up in his hand and he responded to whatever message he received a little too quickly to Michonne's liking. Her smile faltered, Michonne's brief happiness slipping away. "Good," he said, clearly distracted. After a few swipes on his phone, he placed it in his pocket and turned to her, "Hey what happened this morning?"
Michonne tilted her head in confusion.
"The interview with E network?" He elaborated.
Michonne shook her head, her cheeks burning, "Nothing."
"Baby, that wasn't nothing. You refused to talk about your hometown, why?"
"Because I specifically requested that we not bring up that place."
Mike laughed, he shot her an incredulous look. "That place is where we will be filming parts of Storm, you have to talk about it. Successful star giving back to her fledgling town. That's your story, that's how you're going to gain more recognition. Positive recognition, especially since the tabloids paint you as a b—."
Michonne stood up quickly, a flash of hot anger coursed through her veins, "And who fault is that?" she hissed. "I'm going to bed." She stormed off to her room, trying to keep the voices of her Aunt and Sasha saying 'I told you so' out of her head.
Michonne woke up to her nose and throat burning, the taste of bile on her tongue made her gag. She rushed from the bed and to the bathroom, turning on the faucet and drinking as much water as she could to get the horrible taste out of her mouth.
Unfortunately, no amount of water could make it go away. See, the burger wouldn't have given you acid reflux. Michonne dragged her feet hoping that there was fruit downstairs that would soothe her burning throat. But a small black box on her nightstand caught her attention. She sat down on her bed, noticing that Mike's side of the bed hadn't been slept in. It was well past midnight, but Michonne didn't have the energy to worry about what her fiancé was up to this late at night.
She turned her focus back on the little box, turning the lamp on, she bounced the box in her hand, weighing the lightness. Her lips pressed tightly and then she loosen them, allowing a heavy sigh to escape from her mouth as she opened up the box.
Inside the box, at the top, Lorraine Schwartz's—an esteemed jeweler—name was inscribed and then the main attraction, a massive heart shape diamond ring. Michonne carefully removed the ring from its box and inspected the jewelry. Words were etched inside the platinum band.
"You have my heart. Mike." Michonne read aloud. Putting the ring her right hand, she placed both her hands out and compared the two, the original engagement ring was round cut with smaller diamonds encircling the band. The centerpiece itself had fewer karats which reflected Mike's budget, seven years ago, but Michonne still felt it was more special.
She took her newer engagement ring off and placed it back on the box and on the nightstand. She then noticed the note that Mike left behind and picked it up. A simple typed note that stated 'How about an upgrade?' and then a smiley emoji.
Michonne frowned at how unromantic the gift was, did he really think she was okay with this? Yes, because you never speak up anymore, because you took him back.
The awful taste in her mouth was dissipating. She stood up and stretched her limbs and walked over to the many suitcases she would be taking with her to King County.
When did I become so pathetic?
A woman with her looks, money, and career could find any man she wanted, but Michonne couldn't detach herself from Mike. He was there when you were falling apart, he helped you picked up the pieces. He's a good man and he's your first real relationship. Her optimistic side spoke to her, but then the pessimism showed up.
He's a cheater, he broke your heart and made you look like a fool, and he'd do it again.
Michonne shook her head, ridding the back and forth thoughts in her mind. She sighed looking at the bags, in disbelief that she was heading back to King County in two days. Butterflies churned in her stomach, knowing Mike, Michonne knew her coming back to her hometown would be a big production.
Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, she glided over and saw a new email from Glenn. He had done as she asked, she opened up the file, and scrolled down the list of names that Glenn so diligently alphabetized by the last name. When Michonne scrolled to the G's, she slowed down, her breathing growing heavier as she gazed upon a name that only a few days ago she remembered.
Rick Grimes.
She smiled as memories of their adventures together as children came to her mind. Rick had been her best friend, her only friend until she moved away, abruptly and without telling him why.
She wondered what Rick was like now. Was he still painfully shy around girls, was he still doing whatever his dad asked him? Is he married? Yeah, he's probably married with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. For some reason, the thought of her former friend being attached made Michonne feel uneasy. She shook away the silly notion that like some Hollywood movie, he was waiting for her to come back home.
No, Rick Grimes has more than likely moved on.
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