“I'm sorry!” Jungkook said in slight panic, his eyes wide. “Are you okay?” He gently pulled at Jimin's hands, trying to remove them from his face so that he could see if he did any kind of damage.
“I'm fine,” Jimin said, his voice muffled behind his hands. He removed them so that Jungkook would stop pulling at his wrists.
“Let me see,” Jungkook whispered, leaning in to see better. It took some squinting since the lighting in the lounge was similar to that of a light dusk. Jimin allowed the younger man to examine him for only a second before he turned away.
“I'm fine,” he said again. And he was. The pain had been fleeting and he hadn't been hit hard enough to draw blood. “It mostly just shocked me,” he continued. “What are you doing here?”
“Yoongi-hyung and I came to meet up with Namjoon,” Jungkook said. “We're going to get street food after this.”
Jimin felt a twinge of displeasure at the fact that Yoongi and Namjoon were monopolizing his dongsaeng's time before he remembered that his and Jungkook's hyung/dongsaeng relationship was officially on hold and he didn't care what the younger man did or who he spent his time with.
“Do you want to come with us?” Jungkook asked.
Jimin looked around the room, wondering where Ryu Won had disappeared to. He decided he would much rather spend his time cuddling up with his boyfriend at home...if only he could find him. He glanced back towards the small crowd that was still standing in front of the stage as Namjoon continued with his set. Taehyung was still amongst the excited people, swaying with his...girlfriend?...in his arms.
Jungkook's question of whether Jimin wanted to join him and their two coworkers for a night out made him remember what had transpired before he had accidentally hit Jimin's nose. Jimin had...felt him up. A shiver ran through his body as he recalled the feeling of Jimin's hand and just how close he had been to his private parts. And the way his lips had brushed against his ear as he whispered, 'Do you wanna get out of here?'
A strange feeling shot through Jungkook's stomach.
He threw surreptitious glances in Jimin's direction, his eyes wide. The older man hadn't responded to his question, too busy looking around the room. He decided to risk asking another one.
“Hyung...”
“Mm.” His eyes were still scanning the room.
“What was earlier about?”
Jimin's focus finally landed fully on him once again. For a moment, his eyes held a question, not knowing what Jungkook was referring to. Then his eyes cleared with realization and then a flash of wariness. “I thought you were someone else,” Jimin said.
“...Who?”
Jimin tilted his head and stared at Jungkook, seemingly pondering something. It went against all of his desire and being to downplay or deny his relationship with Ryu Won or his sexuality. After all of the troubles and doubts he had gone through before coming out, he never wanted to be in that place again – to have this internal battle. The one he was having right now. About how much of himself he should show to someone.
But he had to take his status into account. Being an idol, he tended to just keep his romantic life private. He never mentioned it unless asked and then he just gave the generic responses – I'm too busy to date; I was in a relationship pre-debut but broke up; I don't love anyone but my fans. He just stayed mum otherwise. Only those closest to him – Taehyung, a dancing friend Hoseok, and his family – knew about his sexuality due to him keeping it close to his chest. It had been a while since he had been faced with the uncertainty of just exactly what to say for himself.
Because it looked like he would be working very closely with Jungkook for a few years now – more closely than he had ever worked with anyone before.
Out of curiosity or maybe in a reckless act of self-destruction, Jimin decided what he would do. He pulled a napkin toward himself, gestured for a nearby server to give him a pen, and then he scribbled something on the white, flimsy piece of paper before sliding it over to Jungkook.
He read it with a confused expression. In neat handwriting, 'Non-disclosure Agreement' was written and there was a line underneath it. He looked up at Jimin, confused.
“Sign it,” Jimin said.
Jungkook was still confused, but he scribbled his signature on the napkin as Jimin instructed.
Jimin took it back and pocketed it. “Thank you,” he said before he met Jungkook's eyes again and responded to his question. “I thought you were my boyfriend. I'm gay.”
Jungkook's mouth fell open into a long 'o'. It was almost comical for Jimin. He had to press his lips together to stifle down a laugh. He had known Jungkook had been a bit sheltered in his hometown but from the way the younger man was looking at him now, it was like he was the first gay man the kid had ever seen up close before.
Maybe he was. At least to his knowledge.
Jimin reached forward to gently tap his chin to get him to close his mouth. Jungkook jerked back at the touch.
And Jimin's amusement died.
Jungkook immediately regretted his action, knowing he had made a mistake. He watched the smirk that had come onto Jimin's face drop into a frown and the other man immediately pulled away and faced the front, crossing his arms over his chest. His lips were drawn into a tight line. And the already-erected imaginary wall grew thicker between them.
Before Jungkook had time to arrange his thoughts and get his mouth to work properly, Jimin's handsome friend re-joined them at the table along with the girl he was with. He felt relief fall on his shoulders to have a buffer. Until he realized he didn't know the man that had just joined them. He clammed up.
“Taehyung, do you know where Ryu Won went?” Jimin asked, his voice holding a sharpness that hadn't been there before.
“I don't know; I haven't seen him,” Taehyung responded.
Jungkook assumed Ryu Won was the name of the aforementioned boyfriend. He blinked, still trying to wrap his mind around it. The person who's texts always made Jimin smile so wide and who he always spoke suggestively to was a man. His boyfriend. When he had thought it was a woman all along.
He sneaked a glance over to Jimin. 'He doesn't even look gay,' he thought, images of feminine-acting men coming to mind. Sure, Jimin could be a bit delicate and androgynous but – for the most part – he seemed manly.
As he thought over these things, he didn't realize his glance had turned into a full-on stare – even a full-body scan – as he tried to discern the parts of Park Jimin that he had missed. The different parts.
When his eyes moved back up to Jimin's face, he realized the older man was staring right back at him. And Jungkook had heard the saying, “If looks could kill...” before but he had never been on the receiving end of any such look. He thought it had been just a saying. Until now.
“That's too bad,” Jimin said in response to Taehyung's answer. He was still looking at Jungkook who had turned away quickly with a flushing face. “Because I'm so horny that I'd probably let him bend me over this table and fuck me in the ass. Hard.”
If Jungkook thought his face was red before, it was now in flames. He squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable. Which he was pretty sure was Jimin's intention because Jimin's friend looked just as shocked as he was to have heard Jimin say that at this moment.
“Umm...Didn't need to know that, but okay...” Taehyung said. He glanced over to his girlfriend, who was dancing in her seat to music that was now coming softly out of the speakers since the live acts were done for the night. “And, hey! Don't talk like that in front of my girlfriend.”
Jungkook was granted relief from Jimin's hard stare for a second when he turned it on Taehyung. “She doesn't even understand what I'm saying!”
“So?”
Taehyung glared and covered his girlfriend's ears. She turned to him with a confused but happy expression on her face. “What?” she asked.
Jimin rolled his eyes and shook his head when Taehyung's attention became fully fixated on her once again.
Jungkook knew he probably should have kept quiet. He didn't want to keep digging himself a grave with Jimin, but a floodgate of curiosity had opened up within him. “Doesn't it hurt?” he found himself asking. He continued to blush to his roots.
Jimin met him with a cold stare. “What?”
“You know. Getting...” Jungkook gestured towards Jimin, the table, Jimin again. He couldn't make himself repeat what Jimin had said. His tongue played against his bottom lip nervously. “...What you said.”
“What?” Jimin said again, not making it easy for Jungkook. “Getting fucked in the ass?”
Jungkook scratched the back of his head and glanced around to make sure no one had heard them. He didn't know who would. No one was even paying attention to them.
Jimin ignored Taehyung placing his hands over his girlfriend's ears again.
When Jungkook was assured no one was looking their way, he nodded.
Jimin scoffed. “Only if someone doesn't know what they're doing.”
Jungkook's brows furrowed with curiosity. “So it feels good otherwise?”
Jimin stared at Jungkook, still fuming with anger. He wasn't really in the mood to teach sex education to someone who obviously found him disgusting.
Jimin's lack of answer didn't deter Jungkook. “How?”
Irritated, Jimin took in a deep breath and temporarily hid his anger beneath a simpering smile. He slid closer to Jungkook until their thighs were touching. He felt the younger man immediately freeze up and stop breathing. His eyes were in their natural state. Wide. He allowed his eyes to travel down to Jungkook's pink lips, which were pressed together with tension, and found himself reluctantly appreciating the shape of them. They were a perfect little cupid's bow. He leaned in, his goal being to make Jungkook as uncomfortable as possible.
If the kid was going to go into crisis over the simple fact that he existed, so be it. It wasn't his problem. He could maybe even use this to his advantage. Maybe if he caused the younger man to have a panic attack, he wouldn't want to work with him anymore. Which would be a golden result in Jimin's book.
“You're awfully curious about gay sex for a straight guy,” Jimin teased, making sure to keep his gaze and voice sultry. He watched Jungkook's Adam's apple visibly move up and down as he swallowed before bringing his eyes back up to the younger man's own gaze. “Instead of answering all these questions, I could show you how it works instead.”
Jungkook literally gasped and Jimin's brows rose in surprise. Mostly at his own reaction. Because once again, he found amusement bubbling up in his chest. Even ignorance looked cute on Jungkook. How was that even possible? At this point, he was starting to consider himself an idiot. No one wanted to find homophobia cute.
But...as Jungkook gulped again and watched him as if he was watching a horror movie play out right in front of his eyes, Jimin realized this might be pretty fun. Tormenting his idiot partner until he learned to get used to him, fight him, or get out of his life forever.
Any of those options were fine with him.
* * *
Jimin paced back and forth on the sidewalk outside of the lounge. The establishment was located on a relatively quiet street. Only a few other businesses surrounded it – a convenience store, a chicken shop, and a karaoke bar – so there weren't many people wandering the streets. Which was a relief to Jimin because he could fume in peace.
His cell phone was pressed to his ear, and he had to keep from groaning in frustration as he talked to his boyfriend. “So you just left?” he asked.
The response he got didn't please him.
After Yoongi and Namjoon had gotten to the booth along with Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung (and his...girlfriend?) but there was still no sign of Ryu Won, Jimin had come outside to call him. Only to hear that his boyfriend had realized he was tired so he decided to duck out without ruining the night for Jimin.
Jimin was livid.
What kind of boyfriend just left without a word? Especially on one of the rare nights that they get to spend together.
“Okay,” he said, cutting off whatever his boyfriend was saying on the other line. He wasn't in the mood to hear it. First Jungkook, now this. He was having the worst night. “You obviously don't want to be here so whatever.” He hung up. There was nothing left to say.
He felt it was the truth. If Ryu Won wanted to be here with him, he would be. The fact that he wasn't just proved that he wasn't as much of a priority in the other man's life as he wanted to be.
He walked back into the lounge. He needed to drink.
* * *
Jimin trailed behind the others as they walked through the streets. He was enjoying the light spring breeze that blew against his heated cheeks. Cheeks that were heated from alcohol. He had indulged in a few shots after returning to the lounge. His muscles were loose and relaxed – more than they had been earlier – so the alcohol had helped there, but now he was just sad. A melancholy feeling laid on his bones like an extra layer of skin.
He crossed his arms across his chest and trudged along, casting a glance at Taehyung. Usually, he would go to his friend for some kind of physical comfort like a hug, walking shoulder-to-shoulder, or holding hands – but his friend was kind of busy with his...girl-? whatever...he didn't know what they were to each other.
In his long-sleeved, v-neck, white shirt and tight black jeans, he began to feel that the breeze that seemed comforting before actually had a little bite to it. He shivered, a frown on his face.
Suddenly, he was stopped in his tracks when something blocked his path.
An arm. With a hoodie dangling from a fist. Jungkook's arm.
He looked up to meet the younger man's eyes. “What's this?”
“A hoodie,” Jungkook answered.
Jimin held back a roll of his eyes, knowing he should have expected that.
“I know. I'm not an idiot,” he said. “You're giving it to me?”
Jungkook nodded.
“Why?” Jimin asked, not reaching forward to take the hoodie.
“Because you look a little cold...” Jungkook said.
“Are you not afraid my gay is going to rub off on you?” he asked, taking the hoodie. He wondered where the chill was coming from; the weather was nice.
“That can happen?” Jungkook asked. Jimin froze in his movements before Jungkook laughed, a wide smile cutting across his face and his eyes crinkling. “I'm just kidding.”
Jimin sighed, hating that he found that funny. Managing to keep a straight face, he pulled the hoodie over his head and stated matter-of-factly, “You think you're cute.”
“No,” Jungkook said, as they began to walk again. And Jimin thought he was done being a brat for the night until he finished his thought. “I know I'm cute.”
Jimin couldn't help but to hit him. He deserved it. But the blow against the younger man's bicep only had Jungkook laughing again and Jimin really taking note of how built the younger man truly was. His muscles were really hard.
“You never answered my question,” Jimin found himself saying.
“What question?” Jungkook asked. They had lost the rest of their group somewhere up ahead, but he found that he was content just sharing company with Jimin for a little while longer. This was the first time they were talking again since they found out he would be debuting with the older man, and he was getting hopeful that Jimin wasn't completely shutting him down. Even after all of the mistakes he had made tonight. Maybe they could go back to being friends.
“Do you want me to show you what gay sex is like?” Jimin asked boldly. And maybe he was more serious than he would like to admit. Maybe his head was spinning with alcohol and he was hurt and he was sad and he was willing to make some mistakes.
He felt Jungkook's body tense beside him.
Jungkook didn't know how to respond to that so he simply said, “...No.”
Jimin gave an exaggerated and resigned sigh. “Fine,” he said. “But you're missing out.”
Within his sadness, the older man got a slice of satisfaction from watching a blush rise on the younger man's cheeks. Trying to hold onto that sliver of warmth, he made another bold request. “Can I hold your hand?”
Jungkook began to fidget. He clasped his hands and unclasped his hands before scratching the back of his head. Jimin hurried his steps so that he could catch of glimpse of Jungkook's terrified expression. As expected, he got a sick thrill from seeing it. “Uhh...” Jungkook said. “Why?”
Jimin sighed again and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. “Don't worry,” he said sarcastically. “This isn't how gay sex works. You'll be fine.”
In spite of himself, Jungkook laughed at Jimin's joke. “I know. I'm not an idiot,” he said, repeating Jimin's words back to him.
“Mmm...” Jimin said. “That's up for debate.”
* * *
The five boys and...
“Hey,” Jimin said, turning to the girl nuzzling noses with Taehyung next to the swing set. “What's your name?”
She looked back at him questioningly.
“Name?” Jimin tried again in English.
“Oh,” she said, understanding settling on her face. “Rachael.”
Jimin nodded.
The five boys and Rachael all stood around a deserted park, ice cream cones in their hands.
“You know, when you two called me out for street food, I didn't know ice cream was what you meant. I feel like I'm in elementary school again,” Namjoon said. He turned to Yoongi. “What's happened to you?”
Yoongi nodded towards Jungkook, who was happily crunching at the cone of his snack. “Blame him,” the stoic-faced man said. “He's bringing down our street cred.”
Jungkook didn't even look bothered at the accusation. He just continued to munch on his ice cream.
Jimin truly, truly hated him.
Yoongi nodded towards them again except, this time, his focus was on Jimin and Jungkook's hands – still intertwined. “Are you two going steady?” he asked. “What's going on here?”
Jungkook stiffened and tried to pull his hand from Jimin's, but Jimin didn't let him go. Yet he scoffed in response to the question. “This kid doesn't even know how to have sex,” he said unabashedly. “I wouldn't go steady with him.”
Jungkook gawked and that embarrassed flush rose on his face again. Once again, Jimin was satisfied with himself. He could do this all day.
Namjoon looked at Jungkook in surprise. “Really?” he asked the younger man. “Are you a virgin, Jungkook?”
“No!” Jungkook protested. He tried to wrestle his hand from Jimin's grip again but Jimin continued to hold fast. Jimin knew how embarrassed the younger would be to be questioned about his sex life by none other than his idol, Kim Namjoon. He fought to keep a devilish smile down.
“It's okay if you are,” Namjoon continued; Yoongi nodded beside him. “I was a virgin until I was twenty-two. If it happens, it happens. It's nothing to stress over.” Yoongi continued to nod.
“I'm not a virgin,” Jungkook whined. He finally managed to extricate his hand from Jimin's.
Jimin didn't let up. “You can't even kiss,” he said. “The first time you kissed your girlfriend, you caused her to bleed.”
Jungkook faced him with eyes that clearly coined him as a traitor. His mouth hung open and he pointed at the older man. “That- That was a long time ago!” he spluttered. Jimin raised his brows, challenging him.
'What?' Jimin mouthed silently, daring him to put up a rebuttal.
Jungkook's face fell into a pout. “You're a bully,” he retorted before stepping over to the side of the swings, away from Jimin.
'Ha, I won that one,' Jimin thought proudly. He regretted that it cost him the warmth of Jungkook's hand...but he wouldn't dwell on that.
“You two are strange,” Yoongi said, looking between them with narrowed eyes. “One minute you're all over each other, the next you're fighting. The first time I saw you two Jimin was all, 'He's my dongsaeng, you two can go suck it'. Then after that, Jimin, you were wanting to quit because Jungkook was debuting with you and just this morning you were torturing him in the studio. But then I come out and see you two holding hands, and now this.” He grabbed his neck dramatically as if he were in pain. “Ah! You two are giving me whiplash.”
“It's a push and pull kind of relationship,” Jimin said, still teasing Jungkook.
“Sounds like you're the only one doing both the pushing and pulling,” Namjoon said. “Jungkookie's right. You're a bully.”
'Jungkookie?' Jimin scowled. He ignored Jungkook shooting him a victorious look at the backup his seniors were providing.
Jimin shrugged. “Whatever,” he muttered.
Eventually, Taehyung suggested they go to Itaewon to have fun. That got immediate support from Namjoon who exclaimed that an Itaewon experience was the kind of experience he had been expecting in the first place.
“We can't just go strolling on the streets of Itaewon,” Jimin said, gesturing between himself and Jungkook. The nightlife of Itaewon was bustling. There was no way he would be able to go there undetected. Not without proper preparation and disguise. And Jungkook could possibly go the night without getting recognized but it was too risky right on the cusp of his debut.
Jimin inwardly scolded himself for already helping to manage the kid's image. As if he had already accepted that they truly were partners.
“Well...” Yoongi said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Sucks for you two. Come on, guys,” he said standing up and gesturing to Namjoon, Taehyung, and Rachael.
Before Jimin had time to be offended, Taehyung hopped forward. “No, wait,” he said. “Sure you can come. Here.” He threw the hood of Jungkook's hoodie over Jimin's head and pulled the drawstrings until only his nose and lips were visible. “And here.” He pulled a black mask from his pocket and hooked it around Jimin's ears. “There. All solved.”
Jimin didn't know what he looked like, but he assumed the sight was ridiculous because he heard laughter coming from all around him. He found himself trying to lift his head to see what Jungkook looked like in the throes of amusement because the loudest laughter was coming from him.
“What about him?” Jimin asked once he got a glimpse of Jungkook's bright smile as he doubled over with mirth.
They ended up forgoing Itaewon in exchange for a less risky stroll down a less busy street where a nightly street market was held. And Jimin found that he enjoyed himself pretty well despite this current hiccup with his boyfriend and his lingering irritation about being forced into a duo.
He realized life goes on and life goes on happily if you only allow it.
* * *
Jimin's POV:
Jimin ended the night by sinking down onto the couch in his home with Taehyung, who had surprisingly decided not to spend the night with his...Rachael. They took up each end of the couch.
“So is Rachael your girlfriend?” Jimin asked, finally getting the chance to appease his curiosity.
Taehyung shrugged. “We haven't labeled it,” he said. “We're just going with the flow.” A goofy smile spread across his face. “She's great, isn't she?”
Jimin nodded even though he wasn't really sure. He had barely talked to the girl because, well, he couldn't. But she was making his friend happy, so she couldn't be that bad.
While they were on the subject of significant others, his thoughts went back to Ryu Won.
“Hey,” he said, poking Taehyung with his foot. “Has Ryu Won said anything to you? About me?” The smile slid off of Taehyung's face and Jimin felt a sense of dread. “He has, hasn't he? Does he want to break up?”
“I'm surprised he hasn't talked to you yet,” Taehyung said, avoiding Jimin's eyes. “I feel like this is something you should be talking about with him.”
“Well, he's obviously too much of a coward,” Jimin said, trying to hold back tremors in his body. Tremors caused by a mix of emotions that he couldn't even put a name to yet. “I thought everything was fine. He's been acting like everything is fine.”
Taehyung frowned. “So he just left tonight?”
“Yeah,” Jimin bit out. “So what has he said?” He gripped his - oops, Jungkook's – hoodie in his hands. He didn't realize he still had it on until now. 'Great, now I've stolen someone's clothes on top of everything else,' Jimin thought distantly as he waited for the approaching storm to hit him.
“It's not really what he said; it's what he did,” Taehyung said, still guiltily glancing away from Jimin's eyes every few seconds. When Jimin pushed him further, Taehyung finally got around to what he meant. “When we were in Japan for the magazine photoshoot, I saw him kissing someone else. That's why I asked if you two were exclusive before.”
A stone settled in Jimin's stomach. It was one thing to have suspicions that your relationship wasn't going well; it was another to have it confirmed. He was sure sadness would come. Rage, regret. But for now, he just felt numb.
“When we landed in Italy, I told him that I saw him and I would give him a week to tell you about it after we got back...or I would do it for him,” Taehyung continued. “I'm sorry, Jimin.”
Jimin shook his head. “Not your fault,” he said. He wondered what course of action he should take now that he knew. Robotically, he lifted his phone from his pocket and immediately sent a text to his boyfriend, not giving himself time to think about it further.
'It's over.'
* * *
Jungkook's POV:
Jungkook stared up at the ceiling of his room, surrounded by darkness, with a small smile on his face. He was happy with the way things had played out tonight. He had solidified a bond with Yoongi and Namjoon – someone he had looked up to for many years now – and he had even possibly made a new friend in the form of Taehyung.
And things hadn't gone so bad with Jimin either. Besides the moments when the older man decided to torment him.
He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and began to worry it, thinking about what the other man had told him tonight. He was gay. Jungkook hadn't seen that coming at all. He very quickly realized that it didn't change the way he felt about the other man in regards to wanting to grow a closer friendship with him, but he had to admit that it did change...something. He just wasn't quite sure what that was yet.
He pulled out his cell phone and pulled up the text messaging box connected to Jimin's name. The last few texts reminding him that their budding friendship had faltered in the last few days because his outgoing texts still hung there, suspended in cyberspace, with no response. He continued to chew on his lip, considering, until he gathered the courage to go ahead and send another text.
'I had fun tonight,' he texted before hitting send.
He then quickly turned off his screen and dropped his phone on his mattress, simultaneously regretting everything and cheering himself on for sending that text. He told himself it wouldn't bother him if Jimin didn't respond again, but he knew it would.
A few minutes of silence passed in which Jungkook tried to close his eyes and fall asleep, but it just wasn't working. Then his phone vibrated. He grabbed it quickly and his heart jumped when he saw that it was, indeed, a responding text from Jimin. He opened it and a smile spread across his face.
'Yeah,' it read. 'It was fun. Shouldn't you be asleep?'
A question. It ended with a question. That meant the conversation could continue.
Jungkook flipped over onto his stomach and typed a response. 'I'm thinking about staying up all night. There's only a few hours left until I have to get up anyway.'
A reply came soon after. 'Don't. Get as much sleep as you can because once we start promoting, you'll wish for it.'
Jungkook's smile grew wider, his eyes fixating on 'we'.
Another message came in. 'I still have your hoodie by the way.'
Jungkook thought back to how his hoodie had swallowed up the shorter man. It had been cute. 'You can keep it,' he sent back.
The dots indicating that a message was being typed appeared at the bottom of Jungkook's phone screen. Then they disappeared. And reappeared. A message came. 'I don't want it.'
Jungkook pouted. He thought about how to respond to that before texting back. 'I don't want it either.'
A few seconds passed. 'Then I'll just throw it away.'
Jungkook pouted harder. 'Why would you throw away a perfectly good hoodie?' he thought to himself. But he typed. 'Okay, hyung, do whatever you want to do.'
A few seconds. Then another text arrived.
'You're annoying.'
The pout was ingrained on Jungkook's face.
'Goodnight, hyung,' he texted, assuming that that was the end of their conversation.
The response he received: 'Go to sleep.'
Jungkook tossed his phone aside. 'Well,' he thought. 'At least he texted back this time.'
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