Seon Woo's POV:
A seven-year-old Seon Woo stared through the glass window of a toy store. The item that had captivated her attention was a Western-looking doll dressed in a beautiful gown with long, brown hair streaming down its back. She was so transfixed that she didn't hear her parents calling for her until their exasperated voices were only inches away from her.
“Seon Woo-yah! Seon Woo-yah. Seon Woo- Oh, there you are.” Her mother stopped behind her and laid a hand on the wandering girl's shoulder. “You can't keep running off like that. This trip was supposed to only take one hour. What are you looking at?” She peered through the glass window to see what had grabbed her daughter's attention so fully.
“Mom.” Seon Woo pointed up at the doll displayed in the window. “Can I have that doll?”
Seon Woo's father appeared behind their mother. He looked exhausted and was still dressed in his policeman's uniform because he knew he would be getting called back in to work in the next hour. “What are we looking at?” he asked.
“Seon Woo wants that doll,” her mother said. Her voice held a hint of weariness and sadness.
With a heavy sigh, her father drops down to her level and turns Seon Woo to face him. “Seon Woo-yah, Mom and Dad don't have the money for this right now. Do you want to wait until Christmas?”
A frown fell upon Seon Woo's small face. “It might be gone by Christmas,” she said. “I want that one.”
Seon Woo's mom and dad shared a pitiable look between the both of them when faced with the petulance of their child that they couldn't stoke by buying her what she wanted. “We can't afford it, Seon Woo,” her mother said, taking the girl's small hand in her own. This time, finality was in her voice and Seon Woo knew there would be no getting her way today. Maybe if just her father was here she could have managed it, but not with her mother. “If you want that doll, do what Mommy and Daddy do. Get a job and buy it yourself.”
“A job?” Seon Woo asked, letting herself be dragged away by her mother's tug on her hand. “What's that?”
“Doing what someone tells you to do for money,” her mother responded.
“Oh...” Seon Woo said. She didn't really understand that explanation, but she decided not to mention it. The adults seemed agitated today. She turned over her shoulder to look one last time at the doll she was having to leave behind and she decided she was going to come back for it. She was going to get that doll.
It isn't until Seon Woo goes to her grandma's house in the countryside that weekend that she begins to understand what a job is. And it was all thanks to her grandma.
One day, while making a stock of kimchi in her traditional Korean home, Seon Woo's grandmother turned to her and said. “Seon Woo, I have a job for you.”
Seon Woo perked up at those words. “A job?” she asked, her eyes widening with childish curiosity and interest. “What is it?”
“Go outside and put some wood chips in the stove for me, will you? I'm going to roast us some potatoes for tonight.”
Seon Woo stands up immediately to fulfill her duties.
“You can do it, right?” her grandma calls after as she runs outside on her small legs.
“Yes!” Seon Woo shouted back.
She had seen her grandmother fill the classic style stove mini times, so it would be no problem. She ran to the side of the house where it was situated beneath the overhanging porch and pulled the door of the black stove open. Old ashes and burnt wood littered the inside. She looked to the side where a pile of freshly cut logs were and picked them up two at a time, stuffing them inside. She made sure not to pile it too high so that there would be room for the potatoes. When she was done, she smiled at her work proudly and shut the door.
She ran back to her grandma and held out her hands. Her grandmother looked at her quizzically. “What?”
“Since I did a job for you, can I have money?”
Seon Woo's grandmother looked shocked for a moment and then she laughed. “Money?” she asked. “Aish, who taught you these things?” She grumbled good-naturedly, but she pointed towards her bedroom. “There's a small dresser in my bedroom. You can grab a couple of bills from the envelope in the first drawer.”
A smile stretched across Seon Woo's face and she ran to get her compensation. Her grandma watched her with a fond smile and a shake of her head.
For the next few weekends, Seon Woo did chores around her grandmother's house for money until she had collected a small stack of bills and held them in her piggy bank at home. Once she had made enough, she ran to her mother on a Monday morning and asked if she could take her back to that toy store once she got off of school. When her mother asked her why, she said she had the money to buy that doll.
* * *
At nineteen years old, Seon Woo danced around her room to a 2ne1 track, I am the Best. The doll she had bought when she was seven sat on the nightstand next to her bed still in good condition.
She was currently running around her room to pack everything she could into the suitcase lying open on her bed. Jungkook's face was smiling out at her from the laptop she had propped open next to it. He had just invited her to come see him in Seoul for the weekend and there was no way she was passing this up. She missed him too much. So she had immediately asked her father for permission, he had said she could go, and now she was in this state...frantically packing everything she could into her bag.
“You don't have to rush,” Jungkook said. “You have all night. I'm sorry I sprang the invitation on you so late. I just looked at my schedule and realized this weekend would be the best time for you to come. My schedule is packed for the next couple of months.”
“I'm rushing because I miss you,” Seon Woo said, making sure to rush back into view of her camera as she spoke. “Being the girlfriend waiting at home is turning out to be much harder than I thought it would.”
Jungkook smiled. “I'm sorry. You're gonna have fun when you get here, I promise. We just have to be careful.”
“I know, I know,” Seon Woo said. “We don't want to be caught by Dispatch or anything. Or any of your crazy fangirls.”
Seon Woo stopped in front of her laptop and dropped to her knees so that her face was displayed properly on the screen. “Jungkook,” she said. “I'll be so happy to see you again. Really see you.”
Jungkook smiled in return. The smile was a little guilty, but Seon Woo didn't notice in her excitement. She pressed a kiss to her screen.
“I'll be happy to see you too,” Jungkook said.
* * *
Jimin's POV:
At seventeen years old, Jimin stood in front of the bathroom mirror of his hometown home and peered at the blonde, wet strands of his hair. He had just bleached it in preparation to place a bright pink layer on top. It would be a drastic change from his usual black hair color. No one would be expecting it. He had even surprised himself when he picked up the hair dye, but he figured it was time for a change. An outward change for everyone to see.
When he completed the process, he stared at himself and took a deep breath. He was nervous but excited because he was facing the reflection of the person he wanted to be.
When he sat down to dinner that evening with his family, a silence fell over the table. Jimin paid no attention to it; he simply proceeded to load his plate. “Hi, everyone,” he said.
No one responded to his greeting.
Jimin knew this was going to come as a shock to him. It was his first day back home after having been in Seoul for a while, training with his entertainment company. This probably wasn't what his parents or brother were expecting when they saw him again.
“You dyed your hair...” his mother finally spoke.
Jimin nodded. “Do you like it?” He finally looked up to meet her eyes. She was staring at him in surprise and consternation.
“Uhh...It's different,” she responded, dodging the question.
His father cleared his throat. “I think it's irresponsible of that company of yours to have you dye your hair when they haven't done anything for you yet,” he said disapprovingly. “Why are they making you change your image when they can't even guarantee you success?”
Jimin kept his eyes on his plate. He began to eat, but he honestly didn't know what he was putting into his mouth. He was too nervous to process the taste. “The company didn't make me dye my hair,” Jimin said. “It's something I decided to do on my own.”
“...Why?” his mother asked.
Jimin felt his tongue dry up. How could he explain in a way that they could understand? How could he explain that he felt more like himself when he wasn't fitting into the structured conformity of everyday life? That he liked feeling bold? That he liked feeling pretty? He chewed on his answer, swallowing his food slowly.
But he didn't need to respond in that moment. He found help in the form of his younger brother.
“...I like it,” his brother said. Jimin faced his brother gratefully. “It makes you look more handsome.” He directed his words to his parents. “All of the idols dye their hair these days. You can't just look like an average guy walking down the street if you wanna be successful.”
Jimin sent his brother a small smile.
His father sighed and grumbled, “When you said you wanted to dance, I thought you meant something more prestigious. I wasn't expecting all of this idol stuff.”
But that was the last of it on that day. Jimin was off the hook. But he didn't particularly feel happy. There was a weight still sitting heavy on his chest.
* * *
21-year-old Park Jimin waited patiently for Jungkook to acknowledge him. He had come into the large dressing room designated to the two of them half an hour earlier and had since proceeded to avoid Jimin with all of the grace of a pink flamengo with one leg. He kept glancing over and then hurriedly looking away whenever Jimin tried to catch his eye, sometimes knocking over whatever was in his nearest proximity in the process. The young woman working on Jungkook's makeup was very disgruntled due to all of this, but she kept her lips clamped shut in an attempt to keep unprofessional curses at bay. Jimin would have turned it all into a game if his own nerves weren't fraught as hell. It turned out Jungkook's oddness was contagious. Jimin put in mind to scold the younger about it later. How dare he make him into this kind of person?
When their makeup was done, their hair was styled, and their mics had been placed, Jimin finally had enough and approached Jungkook. Jungkook kept his eyes forward but his tensed body let Jimin know that he knew he was there.
“Are you going to avoid me all day?” Jimin asked, his voice a low whisper so as not to be picked up by any of the staff walking around backstage.
Jungkook glanced at him and then faced the front again. “...No.”
Jimin narrowed his eyes at him. “So until when?”
“I'm not avoiding you, hyung.”
Jimin scoffed because Jungkook was still refusing to face him as he spoke those words. “Then why won't you look me in my eyes?”
Jungkook turned to stare in his eyes defiantly for about five seconds before facing forward again. Jimin scoffed again, irritated. What did he even see in this brat? “Okay, fine,” he said. “Whatever.” He started to walk off when he felt Jungkook grasp his wrist.
Jimin's heart seized hopefully. Finally they were getting somewhere. He looked in Jungkook's eyes and could see that the younger man was struggling to say something. He waited.
“Hyung.”
“Hmm?”
“I just wanted to say...”
Jimin held his breath.
“I just wanted to say...Seon Woo is coming up to visit in a couple of days, and she'll want to meet you. So I was wondering if you would be free.”
Jimin blinked in confusion as his mind tried to catch up to what his ears just heard. “Your girlfriend is coming?” Jimin asked. He felt his stomach clench with sudden, unexpected nerves and his heart fell from his chest. That wasn't what he had been expecting to hear.
Jungkook nodded. “Remember, I told you I was thinking of inviting her up.”
Jimin thought back. He did remember. Jungkook had told him that right before dry humping him into the bed.
He extracted his wrist from Jungkook's loose grip and took a step back.
“You want me to go on a date with you and your girlfriend?” he asked, wanting to make sure he clearly understood what Jungkook was asking him.
“Well...” Jungkook's lips worked to form words that wouldn't come and a small blush formed on his cheeks. Jimin was glad that he at least had the nerve to look a little abashed. “I mean...She would really want to meet you...” Jungkook explained, his voice lowering to a barely there whisper as he spoke. It seemed it was just now hitting him how his request might affect Jimin now that the words were spoken and hanging in the air between them.
Jimin squinted his eyes. He couldn't deny that he was stung. It's not that he expected Jungkook to place any importance on what had happened between them last night, but he at least had expected a little courtesy. And he couldn't see how being invited to hang out with Jungkook, his girlfriend, and their perfect relationship was a courtesy.
His questioning gaze had turned into a glare that left Jungkook feeling uneasy. “I mean...you...you don't have to meet up with us,” Jungkook said. “If you don't want to.”
But Jimin surprised Jungkook by smiling. A smile that didn't leave Jungkook feeling anymore reassured. It didn't reach his eyes, and it was quite cold.
“No, that's okay,” Jimin said. “I'll have fun with you guys.”
“You will?” Jungkook asked, his eyebrows hitching up to the fringe of his bangs.
“Sure,” Jimin said. “Your girlfriend's a fan of mine. I can't disappoint a fan.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
“Mmhmm.”
Jimin put his earpiece in, getting ready to perform. He was disappointed in himself for expecting anything different. He ignored Jungkook's imploring gaze for the rest of the day and focused on his performance.
* * *
17-year-old Jimin came out to his parents on a Saturday. It was a mundane day. Nothing special about it. There was no fanfare or dramatic music during the announcement. There wasn't even any crying, screaming, or shouting. It was all a sort of muted affair.
Jimin was reading a book in his room when he just suddenly grew tired of it all. He was tired of the weight on his chest and the shadow that followed him around that no one else could see.
He bookmarked his page, stood up, and went to the living room where his family was watching TV. Standing in the doorway, he said it.
“Mom. Dad. I'm gay.”
The volume on the television wasn't loud, so Jimin knew they heard him. They all turned to face him, looking slightly confused.
“What?” his dad asked.
“I'm gay,” Jimin repeated.
“What do you mean?” his mother asked. She turned to her husband. “Honey, what's he saying?” It was as if he was speaking a different language all of a sudden and she couldn't understand the foreign tongue.
“I mean...” Jimin said. “I like guys. Like...I want to date guys.” His heart pounded in his chest but other than that, he was surprisingly calm. This had been a long time coming. And with every word he spoke, that weight on his chest eased little by little.
He was met with silence. No doubt they were all trying to digest what he said. His brother was looking at him with slow realization dawning on his face.
“I know this may come as a shock,” Jimin continued. “But I just wanted to say...yeah...I'm gay. And that may worry you or upset you but...there's nothing any of you can do to change it. There's nothing I can do to change it and...” He shrugged. “I've just decided to live a little selfishly and be happy accepting that.” He nodded and glanced across everyone's faces. “I'll be in my room.”
And that was that.
Seventeen years of building up to some grand announcement and all it had taken was a couple of minutes and an awkward rambling of words.
Of course his parents hadn't liked – what they called his “decision” - but he felt better just having revealed a part of himself that even he was still just discovering. And after his father got tired of trying to talk him out of it and his mother started realizing he was the exact same son he had always been, they began to deal with it and even accept it. Jimin didn't know whether he would be able to ever bring a boyfriend home without his parents being awkward about it but...he would cross that bridge when he came to it.
* * *
Jimin and Jungkook were wrapping up a music festival performance when Jungkook reminded him that his girlfriend was arriving that night and they were supposed to hang out the next day.
Jimin fought down the bitter feeling in his chest and nodded. “I remember,” he said before he took a drink of water. He was still breathing heavily from their performance and sweat glistened on his face. He tried not to meet Jungkook's eyes, afraid that his true feelings would show. “You've taken all of the necessary precautions, right?” he asked. “We won't see ourselves in the news soon?”
Jungkook shook his head, his eyes wide. “I've planned everything carefully. It'll be no problem. She's landing tonight, and I've paid someone to take her to her hotel.”
“Not BigHit staff, right? They could be recognized.”
Jungkook shook his head. “No. Not BigHit. Just...an uber. I called them in advance. They didn't know who I was,” he said quickly, taking note of Jimin's worried expression.
“Okay...” Jimin said, still uncertain. “Next time just leave the Uber up to her. I know you want to play the chivalrous boyfriend, but because of who you are, you can't always have that luxury. Too risky.”
Jungkook nodded. “Understood, Dad.”
Jimin scrunched his face up at Jungkook. “Brat.”
Jungkook broke into light laughter, and just like always, Jimin couldn't help but to be enamored by the warmth that spread through Jungkook's entire face when he smiled like that. He quickly looked away. “...Are you spending the night with her?” he asked carefully, making sure to avoid Jungkook's eyes as he put on the act of nonchalantly brushing imaginary lint from the bottom of his shirt.
“Yes,” Jungkook answered easily. Too easily. The breezy answer left a sinking feeling in Jimin's stomach that he felt guilty for seconds after.
He had to keep reminding himself that Jungkook wasn't his. What they had shared didn't matter. Not to Jungkook at least. Apparently.
“We'll meet up with you tomorrow,” Jungkook continued, not knowing that Jimin's heart was cracking under the weight of his airy words. “I'll text you where. I'm not going to tell Seon Woo about it because I want her to be surprised.”
Jimin nodded. Willing himself to not care. Willing himself to pretend that this was all normal and okay. Willing himself to not reveal what he was thinking or feeling.
A weight that he had rid himself of years ago settled back onto his shoulders, and it was almost like it never really left in the first place.
* * *
Since Jungkook was occupied, Jimin chose to spend his night with Taehyung.
He showed up at the model's hotel room with a black beanie pulled down over his hair and large shades adorning his eyes. Taehyung's personal staff had managed to sneak him in secretly with the help of the staff of the hotel that Taehyung was currently staying in due to its proximity to the location he would be shooting a commercial at in the morning.
When Taehyung opened the door, Jimin fell into his arms – embracing him tightly around his neck. He clutched a bottle of wine in one hand and glasses in the other. He wouldn't tell his friend that this would be his second bottle of wine for the night, but he didn't need to. Taehyung could tell immediately from the sweet and slightly tangy smell permeating lightly from Jimin that his friend had already pre-gamed. He gently pushed Jimin away from him and closed the door.
“I'm mad at you, bro,” Taehyung said. “Because of you, I had to cancel a night with Rachael.”
“You're still seeing her?” Jimin asked. He pulled his shoes off and began to look for a surface to place the glasses on. He was eager to get a little drunk and then fall asleep. On this particular night, he slightly regretted the fact that he held his liquor so well. He didn't feel even a little bit buzzed even after his previous drinking before arriving.
He walked into the living room area of the hotel suite and placed the glasses down on a decorative coffee table before pouring out some wine into both glasses. Taehyung followed behind him.
“Yes,” Taehyung said. “She's amazing.”
Jimin smiled, feeling happy for his friend. “I'm happy for you,” he voiced, handing the filled wine glass to Taehyung.
Taehyung took a sip just to be polite but then he sat it aside. Jimin knew then that he would be drinking on his own that night. He was only a little disappointed before he shrugged the feeling away. More for him.
* * *
A couple of hours and an empty bottle later, Jimin had the buzz he had been searching for.
With a dopey but contented smile on his face and slightly red cheeks, he nuzzled up next to Taehyung who was looking through his phone. Wait. Jimin squinted. Taehyung wasn't looking through his own phone, he was holding Jimin's phone in his hand and scrolling through it as if it belonged to him.
“What are you doing?” Jimin asked. “Why are you going through my things?” He whined but he didn't try to take the phone back. If it was anybody else and if he was sober, he probably would have had a problem with the invasion of privacy but this was Taehyung and his muscles were sinking into the bed like liquid jelly so...he couldn't find it in him to care that much.
“I'm reading your texts with Jungkook,” Taehyung said with a snicker. “You two are so cute.”
Jimin frowned and scrunched his nose. Jungkook. Just the person he didn't want to think about tonight. He didn't want to think about what he was probably currently doing with his girlfriend. How much he preferred what she could give compared to him. “Jungkook isn't cute at all,” Jimin said with a pout and a sigh. “He's stupid.”
“That's not what you're saying in these texts,” Taehyung teased. “Jungkookie...” He began to read one. “Has anyone ever told you you look like a handsome Yoo Jae Suk?” Taehyung burst out into loud laughter. “What the hell, hyung?”
Jimin pouted again. He didn't respond. He already felt silly for liking Jungkook – he was just finding out that he liked him way more than he initially thought – and now his best friend was teasing him about some of his not-so-subtle texts.
“Do you like Yoo Jae Suk?” Taehyung continued to read, having moved on to Jungkook's response. “You said yes. Then he said...” Taehyung scrolled down. “Then I'm glad I remind you of him.” Taehyung's mouth fell open and he screamed. Much too loudly for Jimin's relaxed state. He pulled away from Taehyung with a grimace. Taehyung didn't seem to notice, though. He was too busy laughing gleefully. “He's flirting so hard with you, Jimin! How can he still claim to be straight?”
Jimin took his phone back. “I think he just likes the attention I give him,” Jimin said forlornly. “Like you said.”
Taehyung turned over on his side to face Jimin. “Why do you say that?” Taehyung said. “What's happened? You've been pouting all night.”
Jimin sighed. “Nothing. Nothing we didn't already expect anyway...”
“What's that?” Taehyung asked.
“That I shouldn't get involved with Jungkook.”
Taehyung's brows furrowed as his mind grasped to come up with information that he didn't have. “Wait,” he said. “Has something else happened between you two? More than that one kiss?”
“Yeah,” Jimin said. His mind went back to what happened between them a couple of nights before and he couldn't stop the flush that ran across his face. “We made out...pretty aggressively...” he said, keeping the real occurrences of that night as PG as possible in his vocal retelling.
Taehyung's mouth fell open. “He made out with you?”
Jimin nodded again.
“And then what happened?”
Jimin told him about how Jungkook ran away and then never really spoke of it again. And he then confessed why he was sulking tonight. It seemed all Taehyung had to do was prod a little bit and all of Jimin's grievances were pouring out of him. Maybe it was the alcohol as well. He told him about how Jungkook was spending the night with his girlfriend and how he had invited her to visit him right after what had happened.
Taehyung listened quietly, interjecting with angry grumbling whenever Jimin needed proof that he was on his side.
When he was finished, Taehyung's frown matched Jimin's. Throughout Jimin's spiel, he adopted Jimin's perspective and began to feel as much frustration towards the younger man as his friend did. “We should get revenge,” he decided.
“How?” Jimin asked.
“Make him jealous.”
“...How?”
“Mmm...” Taehyung thought for a moment. “Come here.” He took Jimin's phone from his hand and went to his camera. “Kiss me on the cheek.”
Jimin immediately grasped what Taehyung wanted to do and he chuckled, too buzzed and too uncaring to not want to go along with what Taehyung was suggesting. He moved close and pressed his lips to Taehyung's cheek while Taehyung took the photo. Jimin glanced at the camera to see if Taehyung was done right as Taehyung pressed the button to take another photo. This picture ended up looking way more seductive than either expected it to. They both laughed as they viewed it. “It looks like I'm saying I have him and you don't,” Jimin said.
“Perfect,” Taehyung replied as he went to Jimin's Twitter.
“You're not really going to post that, are you?” Jimin asked. The doubts began to set in. “People are really going to think we're dating.”
“No, they won't,” Taehyung said. “Only our shippers. And what's wrong with making them happy? Everyone else will just think we're having a little bro fun.”
Jimin laughed, knowing Taehyung was right. And he couldn't deny that he felt a small, mischievous thrill of excitement at possibly getting Jungkook's blood to rise.
“Do you think he will care?” Jimin asked. “He's seen us hang out together. He knows there's nothing going on.”
“Does he?” Taehyung asked, glancing over and raising his eyebrows suggestively.
Jimin smacked Taehyung's chest and watched him make a Twitter post. He posted the first and second picture together, and he typed out a caption for it: “When you drink too much alcohol but bae is there to hold you.”
Jimin laughed. “Yah,” he said. “That's too much.”
“Why?” He didn't wait for a response. He posted.
Jimin screamed and grabbed the pillow next to him, pressing it over his face. “That's so embarrassing,” he said, his voice muffled through the fabric. “My fans aren't going to know what the hell is going on.”
A message notification came in on Jimin's phone. “Oh,” Taehyung said. “It's your manager. He asked what the hell you're doing.”
“Oh my God,” Jimin groaned. He threw the pillow away and grabbed his phone from Taehyung's hands before shutting it off. “I hate you.”
“That's not what everyone else is going to think after tonight,” Taehyung laughed.
“If I lose fans because of this, I'm blaming you.”
“If you lose fans because of this, they didn't deserve you in the first place.”
Jimin's fingers and toes tingled in anticipation of what people were going to think. Of what Jungkook was going to think. “He probably won't care.” He spoke aloud, his thoughts running out of his mouth.
“Who? Jungkook?” Taehyung asked. “If he doesn't, then he doesn't know what he's missing.”
Jimin giggled at their absurdity, his buzz still keeping his spirits high. “What happened to not trying to seduce the straight guy?”
“That went out the window when he kissed you and then tried to act like nothing happened,” Taehyung said passionately. “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
Jimin chuckled at Taehyung's corny use of the famous movie line. “Shut up.”
“Don't pretend that you're not anticipating getting a reaction.”
Jimin pouted. “I'm not. Even if he does feel anything, he probably won't let me know. He's stupid.”
“That's the second time you've said that.”
“Well, he is.”
“Why have you become interested in a stupid guy, huh?”
“I don't know.”
Taehyung sighed and patted Jimin's hair. “Sleep. You have to deal with stupid tomorrow.”
Jimin groaned. “Do I have to?”
“No. You can blow him off and spend the day with me instead.”
“I can't do that.”
“Why? He's stupid.”
“He's cute.”
Taehyung sighed. “You're both stupid.”
Jimin didn't respond. The drowsiness caused by the alcohol was slowly setting in and he found himself drifting off to sleep.
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