Hwang
Bo smiled at the antics of the kid in front of her. He would do
anything to make her smile; make her laugh. And it usually always
worked. That’s why she continued to see him after the We Got
Married program was over. Being with him let her forget her stress
for a while each day. But she knew that she would have to stop seeing
him for fun one of these days because he was starting to get serious.
She could tell. And this was never meant to be serious.
Hwang
Bo got up from the couch and walked toward him. He stopped what he
was doing and waited for her to reach him. She had a look on her face
that he had seen occasionally, the one she always wore when she was
about to tell him to get out. He looked back down at the vegetables
he was carving into hearts and stars. ‘Why does she always want to
make me leave? I told her that I could spend all day with her today,
she should be happy, but when I told her, she looked like I had
caused her some sort of burden.’ Hwang Bo was just watching what he
was doing, her elbows propped on the countertop next to him. He knew
what was coming next.
“Hyun
Joong-ah,” she started sweetly. She always started sweetly. Hyun
Joong interrupted her, trying to delay the inevitable.
“Do
you have any animal shaped cookie cutters? I want to make these
carrots into farm animals.” He ignored the cold stare she directed
toward him and started to look through the drawers. “I can’t seem
to find any.”
“Hyun
Joong,” she said again. Hyun Joong began to rattle through utensils
loudly. Hwang Bo raised her voice a bit. “Hyun Joong, I’m feeling
a bit tired now. Do you think we can maybe do this some other
time?”
‘She’s
only been sitting around on the couch, why is she tired, and she’s
still wearing her pajamas, so I know she just woke up.’ “I could
come back later today, Buin,” he said, knowing that the name grated
on her nerves for some reason, but using it anyway.
Hwang
Bo sighed. ‘Can he really not take a hint or does he do this on
purpose?’ she wondered. “You know…I don’t know if that’s
the best idea,” she said.
He
continued chopping the vegetables since he couldn’t find the cookie
cutters. She grabbed his arms. “Hyun Joong,” she said, looking up
into his eyes so he couldn’t misinterpret or misunderstand anything
she said. “Please, leave.”
Hyun
Joong looked back into her eyes, hurt. Hwang Bo shifted her eyes
downward. “Why?” Hyun Joong asked. “You’re the one who asked
me over here in the first place,” he said, agitatedly.
“I
just wanted to have fun, but you always start treating me like you’re
my husband or something. I never asked you to cook, but here you are
cooking me stew because you said I ‘look like I need some energy’.
You even sat me down on the couch like some sort of invalid, and now
you won’t even leave when I ask you to.” Hwang Bo knew she wasn’t
making much sense, but she just wanted him out of her house.
Now.
Hyun
Joong looked stricken. “I just wanted to take care of you,” he
said.
Hwang
Bo looked into the shocked eyes of the handsome young man and looked
away. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she had to find some way to
get it through his stubborn head that they couldn’t go on like this
and if they wanted to, he had to give up on this turning into a
serious relationship. “I don’t need you to take care of me, I
don’t want you to take care of me. I only wanted to keep you near
me after the show because you brought me a little bit of happiness
sometimes and made me feel beautiful and young, but that’s not
going to cut it anymore. My mom has marriage meetings lined up for me
today, and I plan on meeting the men seriously, and I can’t do that
with a pet at home.”
“What!?”
Hyun Joong asked, shocked and incredulous. He didn’t know which
part of what she said upset him more. The part about him just being a
fun time, the marriage meetings, or the fact that she had just called
him a pet. For some reason, he felt used. But, even though he was
upset with other things, he could only foolishly look down at the
vegetables he had began to cut as he was about to confess his
feelings. He knew that Hwang Bo maybe wasn’t thinking about their
meetings as he was, but he had wanted to make things official today.
His hand clenched into a fist, causing his finger to throb in pain as
he had gotten a cut while trying to fix the vegetables.
Hwang
Bo saw his hand turn white on the knife handle. ‘Did I push him too
far?’ She laid a hand on top of his fist. “I know that right now
you’re hurt, but I think this is what’s best for you, for us. I
need someone who can lead me, who can make me feel protected, not
someone that I feel like I need to protect.” His jaw clenched, she
reached up a hand and put it to his cheek, knowing that her actions
were crueler than they were kind. “I’m sorry, but it’s over
Hyun Joong-ssi. I hope this is the last time I see you outside of
work.”
Hyun
Joong felt overcome with anger and pain. So much so that he felt the
threat of a lump crawl into his throat. He decided to give it one
more try. “Why can’t it be me?” he asked quietly. But then, he
thought back to what she said. “Oh, right. I guess you’ve already
answered that.” He nodded, not wanting to lose his pride. “Well,
good luck on the marriage meetings. I’m kind of glad I won’t have
to suffer anymore of your calls in the middle of the night. They were
a bit of a burden.”
Hwang
Bo felt a little stung, but shrugged the emotion off as getting bit
by a favorite dog. She knew that he was trying to lessen the hurt she
had forced onto him by trying to make her feel some of it. She felt
like she deserved it. She nodded. “Since we finally understand each
other, can you leave now? I need to get ready for my marriage meeting
in an hour.”
Hyun
Joong wanted with every fiber of his being to stay rooted to the
spot. To somehow make her change her mind. But there was no way he
could think of to stay without losing all of his pride. His hand
slowly loosened on the knife. He looked at her one last time as he
sat the knife down and took off her apron that he had been wearing.
Her eyes were open, but they were completely closed to him. He turned
away from her and walked to the door.
A
part of Hwang Bo wanted to stop him, to comfort him somehow and take
the slump from his shoulders, but she knew that that would erase how
hard she had worked just to get him to leave. Hwang Bo watched him
slowly pick up his bag full of manga, slip on his shoes as he reached
the door. She hated that she was the one who had taken all of his
energy, but…she watched as he turned the knob and stepped out of
the door, hesitating on the thresh hold before closing the door
softly behind him…this had to end.
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